Being an elder gave my father a superiority complex & made him an unpleasant person who was extremely hard to deal with!
When I was growing up, I needed not just a father - I needed him to be a friend who I could talk to, someone whom I could confide in without judging me. My elder father failed miserably to be that kind of friend. He was judgemental, always wanting to lecture & judge instead of listening, quick to criticize & slow to praise. As a result, I couldn't get along with him, we clashed often, & our relationship was strained. I didn't care about his being absent from the house often - I was happier whenever he was away!