For example, if your adolescent balks at attending Christian meetings, try to find out if something else is bothering him. But do so with patience. Little good is accomplished by the parent in the following scenario.
Son: I just don’t like going to meetings anymore.
Father: [hostile tone] What do you mean you don’t like going?
Son: I find them boring, that’s all!
Father: Is that how you feel about God? You find him boring? Well, that’s just too bad! As long as you live under our roof, you’re going with us—whether you like it or not!
God requires that parents teach their children about him and that children obey their parents. (Ephesians 6:1) However, you want your child to do more than blindly follow your spiritual routine and reluctantly go with you to Christian meetings. If at all possible, you would like his mind and heart to come along too.
You have a better chance of accomplishing that if you discern any underlying issues that might be contributing to his attitude. With that in mind, consider how the above conversation could have been handled more effectively.
Son: I just don’t like going to meetings anymore.
Father: [calmly] Why do you feel that way?
Son: I find them boring, that’s all!
Father: Sitting for an hour or two can be boring. What do you find most challenging about it?
Son: I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’d rather be somewhere else.
Father: Is that how your friends feel?
Son: Well, that’s just it! I don’t have any—at least not anymore. Ever since my best friend moved away, I feel like there’s no one to talk to! Everyone else is having a good time. I feel so left out! By drawing out the adolescent, the father in the above scenario not only gets to the underlying issue—in this case, loneliness—but also builds trust, thus keeping the door open for further discussions.
This article brings back memories for me. There was an assembly demo part a couple of years ago featuring this EXACT same conversation. Guess who played the role of the adolescent? ME. That was near to the time where I began to wake up. And the brother who played my father in the demo is now shunning me. Ahh... what a "loving" organization!