Duvan,
we have something in common, for i mentioned in my previous post i was just like you now for many many years.
Bible clearly says No one is looking for God, not even one. However God is looking for us, for lost sheep. And Jesus Christ is the Good Shepperd!
Let me tell you what it is to live under communism regime. It is when Government makes themselves "god". Only one media, one strait forward propaganda. Both of my parents were communists and I was raising up in atmosphere of pure materialism. And I certainly believed with my heart in evolution and materialism. When I was in young school age, I recall my debates with grandma (who I think believed in God). She was teasing me by asking "so you believe that you came from the monkey?" and without doubt I would tell her of cause. And she would laugh. Living for 25 years under Soviet Union regime, my philosophical point of view were pretty much developed. However i always had dreaming kind of curiosity about time and space and universe. And very often had conversations with my dad about it. Interestingly enough he would tell me about possibility of aliens involvement. Like they would bring "stamp" (kind of like DNA) to our planet to start life. I would not be completely satisfy with those answers. I think all of us ask our self most important questions like how this universe came to existence, why am i here, how do I know how to live life here, what is going to happen when i die. Those questions would pop up in my mind from time to time.
I came to United States in 1994. It was quiet shocking experience. New country, totally different language (i could not speak at all). From time to time, i would hear things from people I could not hear in my old country. About religion, God, Jesus. I would ignore it, or debate it back. One time I happened to be outside of my apartment watching my son playing, and an old Russian man who lived nearby approached me. He was talking about some passages from the bible. I did not take him seriously. Next time one of my co-workers was talking about Jesus Christ. I was arguing with him protecting my atheistic view. The other time, when I was delivering pizza to the customer (later I realized it was a Christian family), I received a very warm, unforgettable hospitality. The lady of the house took my hand and asked if they can pray for me. I did not understand what is going on, but somehow accepted her “strange” offer. The whole family gathered around me, her husband and few kids, as she was praying out loud. She kept holding my hand. During their prayer I felt something great inside of me, could not explain it.
After 9/11 occurred, my point of view was dramatically changed; I started to look for some answers. Some how I switched to conservative radio talk channel (until then always was liberal). It gave me some understanding what is going on in the world. Quiet often Jews and Christians were unfairly targeted by liberal media. One time I started to read Old Testament. Later I watched movie Passion of Christ. It seams like some invisible power was guiding me toward something I wanted to find out what. Soon, I switched all my car radio channels to Christian radio. One day, when I was driving and listening Christian channel, I realized how bad and miserable I am and how great and wonderful God is, that He sent His only Son to save me. I turned my car to small street, stopped there, repented and accepted Jesus Christ to my heart as my personal Savior. Next few days something wonderful was happening. My anger toward my kids was gone (in a past from time to time I used belt to discipline my kids, very often for no reason); some of sinful habits started disappear; jealousy, lust, desire to have money, selfishness. In all people I find God’s creatures and have great difficulties to hate them for anything. After Jesus came to my heart, I quickly found Church. I should admit it was my very first experience, as I have never been at any Churches before. That day something strange and powerfully wonderful happened to me after the service. As I approached help desk to register, I could not say a word. It was a sudden cry. I have never cry so strong in my life. And it was cry of great joy and a little sadness. Joy of realization of God’s love for me and sadness that so many people (including my relatives) are still not saved. If you do not aware, in Soviet Union males in particular get raised to not cry. You get told " you are the man, you ought not to cry". I tell you, since God changed my life, in very short period of time (compare to time before knowing God) i have been crying "million" times.
Bible says: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank you!