Sorry to hear that you are going through tough times.
Rejoining a cult will NOT help you! It will simply seem to provide a measure of stability and structure for your life, along with a comforting hope. But that is it.
You will become burdened with a new set of issues as you strive to meet up with all the expectations placed on you.
You will become burdened with FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt)
May I suggest that if you feel like your life is lacking guidance or structure, seek professional mental health assistance. Many here have done so, and it will help you to regain control over your life, and answers as to the "lost" feelings you are experiencing.
Love and Best wishes!