Thanks for sharing this account!
First, well done to you for maintaining your humanity and decency by remaining friends ! Well done in not falling into the JW clone mindset and succumbing to their abusive and inappropriate behaviour!
Now, as for meeting with them in an official meeting?
DO NOT ATTEND! Can I be a little more clear? DO NOT ATTEND!
You have stated your points already with the other 2 elders. You do NOT need to go into an environment that is already biased against you, and that has an outcome already chalked up.
You owe NO EXPLANATION for your life to anyone.
Please remember this quote: "THE ONLY POWER PEOPLE HAVE OVER YOU, IS THAT WHICH YOU ALLOW"
Yes, by all means, maintain your Dignity, Poise and Grace. Be polite, but do NOT get drawn into a conversation. Simply reply something like "Thanks, but I trust that you will respect appropriate boundaries. Take care, and have a lovely day"
If they push the point, mildly repeat the same sentence.
Sending you much love and support!