I am a woman, mother, wife of inactive that believes and newly inactive that is trying to free my mind. I don't feel that I will rush back, ever, as I see now how shallow any relations are and all the hypocrisy. Big issue is to compare the shunning, marking and extreme judging with Jesus's words and actions - totally incongruent with WT teachings, customs. I realize her family is in and she may be held to keeping up a fade to have a relationship. It's like death, divorce of nasty kind, terrible estrangement....
I am not without hope and i don't believe she is either. Remind her that if you never join, your kids will be marked and have little to no association as a "weak" family. Would she really want that for her kids? For herself? Does she really think all other kids, people on planet will be killed and that God will not see their heart, problems, etc?
COC book helped me immensely as well as UN issue - went to UN sources and proved to myself beyond statement of "imperfect men" excuse. If Jah was truly leading them, he would not let the organization join for a library card. Once this hit me, I could open to other issue. I am striking hard at the trunk, so to speak, and not worrying about the branches as yet.
If you love her, help her. Show her what love really means, even if you decide not to marry. I just read you also have kids. A divided house with kids being taught different things would be so difficult.
I am fading and inactive and will not go back but am in mid-point where I also cannot celebrate holidays (only interested in thanksgiving and Valentine's really, low-key, family only bday ). The holidays would be issue too. Don't marry until she is clear and can say goodbye to any harmful teachings.
You can point to fact that WT has perhaps some Truth.....but so do many other religions. Like other religions, it also has an underbelly and many untruths. If you can help her, even if you do not marry, at least you tried to help a friend. She may not have many.
