So many things came up for me during total JS when I had a study..... why some elderly were oraised for making no time for hobbies...plenty of time for that in the new system. That made me so sad and could not defend their stand to make it reasonable to have no hobbie iuraide of service, meeting prep, socializing with JWs and existence. Eyes and ears kept being pricked till I ventured further to investigate and then the flood gates opened...
Stirred
JoinedPosts by Stirred
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16
Memories from the Edge
by neat blue dog inwhen waking up it often isn't an instant switch, there's a period of time when your conflicted feelings are heightened and most uncomfortable.
can anyone remember specific instances in the time before you fully woke up that made you uncomfortable or guilty, despite you still being a 'believer'?.
i can think of two right now, both about a year or two before i woke up:.
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12
My Dad's Funeral
by Disassociated Lady 2 ini had not seen my dad for 15 years because i had left the borg.
(i had been out 26 years but there was a few years when the jws permitted contact with outsiders and then changed their minds again).
they made contact with me again just before he was diagnosed with cancer.
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Stirred
Your brother sounds typical of the holier than though elder types who drop their responsibilities on others to care fo their family. Your sister has a choice. Since she is inactive vs DA or DF, she is likely tolerated. If my mother shunned my son, I think I'd continue to send pictures and share how good you are both doing ... maybe once per year. Your sister has a choice on how to care or not to care for her mother. Maybe you can have your mum move to the same neighborhood as your brother? Take turns? Find a mutual plan?
So sorry for your loss and the unintended extra pain the revelations have caused. I do understand in my own quirky way how others get to have experiences you craved to have with YOUR own dad. It hurts anyway you slice it and you just have to process it and be thankful for those in your life who value and love you and would never want to lose a moment with you.
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Family is now reaping what they sowed and they don't like it.
by Gemmel ini resigned from the jw's in my 20's over 30 years ago, i was immediately shunned by my entire family and it's remained that way with a few exceptions ever since.
one of those exceptions was being contacted by a cousin a few years back and during that conversation i discovered that my mother had been and still was the prime mover in my complete and continuing shunning.
i then used what contacts i had left to confirm it.
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Stirred
What if you show a kindness that they did not show to you? That you extend some flower? ....share your feelings with your mother and brother about what was and what is. That you've mourned having family and a mother. You can't change the past and their actions had an impact to make you never want to align with an unloving organization and that their being left to fend for themselves without support is like how you were treated. You could send a token amount of money $50-100 or whatever you are comfortable with .... in memory of the mom you once knew, once loved, and mourned. You can share that you found out about her efforts to keep you isolated. In her warped hopes that you'd return to the organization because you missed family.
Their desperate outreach is evidence you can use that they 1) still consider you family and 2) have no support from their so-called friends or organization, despite all that they have done to be "good witnesses." I feel pity for them as they no doubt are pondering so much now in their desperate state. Christ was forgiving and not seeking revenge. At his death, he prayed for his enemies for they "knew not what they do".
Your success is your greatest revenge. Your mercy and extending some flower of peace would be another kind of success. Yours, of course, to choose. As a mother myself, I can't imagine cutting off my sons (and she did keep some communication, right?) and never seeing them again. But also can see one pressured by the peers she kept to be diligent about shunning to try hard to bring you back into compliance.
Forever cutting off or peace gift and message on her last journey to death and possible great remorse - it is your choice this time. I feel for you on the difficult journey you've traveled and hope that she could be moved to open her heart to regret and forgiveness. Sadly, I realize this may not happen and know of others in my family still suffering from distanced parental relations even though they were never baptized. Wishing you strength and peace in whatever decision you choose.
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Stirred
Giordano, I LOVE your suggestions. It will take adding to the police force to accommodate having representation at every school though... having trained FBI/retired police may be a good option. Funding will come no doubt for these steps.
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I'm getting disfellowshipped
by Letty inhi everyone i'm 19 year old and i've been a jehovahs witness for 3 years now.
i've followed the rules and i'm even a pioneer.
but i've hid the secret of a boyfriend i had from india.
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Stirred
So sorry for the anxiety you are going through. Not being authentic is stressful and also living with others who pressure us to live inauthentically or fear judgment and rejection.
Regarding some housekeeping matters - obtain your SSN card, key papers - diplomas, identification, insurance information, research your states/ city's resources for homeless/ youth.
Here's a good article about the subject on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/comments/1wciql/im_getting_kicked_out_what_do_i_need_to_know_to/
Stay positive. Don't turn bitter. Shower all with kindness and decide now what moral principals and standards you will keep as an adult going forward and then be open and honest with them. You are worthy of dignity and respect even if you hid a boyfriend. You can acknowledge the truth about how your actions may have been less than honest and hypocritical. You can also decide what your new position will be going forward.
Wishing you speed in landing on your feet and to finding the best bath for your highest good.
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20
Another trolley (That's Cart to Americanos), encounter today.
by punkofnice ini couldn't bleedin' well resist it.
there were these 2 jobo blokes standing behind a jobot trolley.
jobo, 'what's that?'.
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Stirred
The is depressing
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10
A Short Life Story - Part 3
by pale.emperor incontinuation from part 2 (which is here: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5769422536966144/short-life-story-part-2).
so im 25, married, and my life seems to have ended when it should be in it's prime.
i have only two non jw friends.
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Stirred
OMG. Can't even imagine what moved her in her state to do what she did. I appreciate you tried, even though it was such a hard thing to take. Was she so manipulated? Pathetic self esteem? What a hot mess a brewing.
Thank you for sharing.
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A Short Life Story - Part 4 (Finale)
by pale.emperor ina continuation from part 3, which is here: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/4807117397557248/short-life-story-part-3#!#4918071166763008.
my wife had settled into a routine of waking up at 6am each day, cleaning (so no chance of a lie in for me or our daughter with the vacuum cleaner going), eating very little, picking the skin off her lips while she sits there in a trance obsessing over things that are out of our control and dont matter anyway.
she never did return to work.
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Stirred
Thank you for sharing your story.
I appreciate your efforts with your wife. Was touched you were bringing her a gift when you discovered the computer breach.
Sounds like she was suffering from depression and who wouldn't be with the famiy dynamic she was raised in - maybe what we call the Baby Blues and perhaps the JW life was just pushing her over at the time.
I can't help personally blaming the situation - pressure, JW family, cognative dissonance, depreseion, possble baby blues - for making what might have been resolve into a dissolution. Fear can be crippling and I completely recognize the feeling of waking up to maybe being in a cult....and that part of yourself dies.
As a fader, I'm still strugging with mindset and patterns of thought.
Wishing you great happiness and continued success.
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38
Will #metoo have an affect on forcing changing attitudes at Watchtower?
by jwfacts indespite decades of the feminist movement, watchtower's attitude of woman being inferior has changed little, with pauline sexism justified as inspired, on the basis that women are lesser emotionally, intellectually and physically.
jehovah's witnesses seem to accept this with little resistance.
is there anything about the #metoo movement that may wake followers up?
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Stirred
I'm middle aged and have had my share of stories in the workplace growing up, though not in the congregation where I was always married and kind of on the outs for having an inactive husband and being a corporate working woman who did much indirect service vs. formal due to travel. IMHO, not all leave for the mysogony and male tripping that goes on. Many reasons as to why. Coming from environment I did, I was ripe for the setting as I look back. It was actually the interactions with women that played a greater roll in my waking up to injustice than the silly men I encountered. Seeing it third hand is powerful. Reading the stories of others' experiences resonated for me as I tend to ignore my treatment I always just waived those imperfect ones caught up in their power. Rutherford stories certainly opened my eyes wide. The whole enchillada is getting over ripe and likely stimulating further cognitive dissodence which troubled me since nearly day of my studies till one day I could no longer ignore it.
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23
Does a jw have to miss counting time for 6 months to be inactive
by blondie inhow many months consecutively does a jw have to miss turning in time to be inactive?.
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Stirred
Thought it was 4 months but either way I qualify for last 3 years.