Phaedra

Joined

• started 26 topics
• posted 305 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Phaedra

• 
  23

  How did you feel on Christmas as a JW child?

  by cookiemaster in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is obviously a question for born-ins like me.

  so, how did christmas feel to you as a child?

  to me it was awful.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  How'd I feel on Christmas day as a child? Left out. Lonely. Even when I was into the JW stuff, I couldn't wait for the day to be over because it's like the whole world is having a party that you aren't invited to.
  

  Here's how it unfolded: I'd wake up to a barren world (everything but the movie theater is closed) with the knowledge of my worldly friends and schoolmates were having the time of their lives waking up to opening gifts and playing with new toys all day. I had 4 siblings, so the day sucked for all of us collectively.
  

  There's a reason awesome, fun, and climatic events are referred to as "It's just like Christmas!"
  

  It's the same now. As an adult, with JW family in, there is no celebration. No dinner together. No party and no fun on Christmas eve or the actual day. I'm alone in my mind, trying to connect with others and things that keep my mind off the isolation.
  

  I inquired about volunteering at a church in town to help serve xmas dinner this year. They responded, "We have enough volunteers." !@#!
  

  The plus side: Charlie Brown's Christmas was on last night. And I watch guilt-free.

  Merry Christmas!
  
• 
  6

  New Christmas Ornament this year

  by myway2007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this year i put a new ornament up on the tree.

  what makes it special is that it is a picture frame ornament.

  the picture inside the frame is a recent family photo of all the people i haven't seen in years standing in front of a hall.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  I guess it would never work.... ah well.
  
• 
  6

  New Christmas Ornament this year

  by myway2007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this year i put a new ornament up on the tree.

  what makes it special is that it is a picture frame ornament.

  the picture inside the frame is a recent family photo of all the people i haven't seen in years standing in front of a hall.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  Ah, the irony of Jehovah's Witness Christmas ornaments.

  A new product idea! Wait, I'll be right back...
  
• 
  17

  Merry Christmas! Or merry Christmas on the sly! Ho! Ho! Ho!

  by purrpurr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just to say merry christmas and a happy new year!

  i hope wherever you are that you have a lovely holiday, even if like me your celebrating on the sly hehe in which case happy christmas on the sly.

  xxxxxxxxxx.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  in which case happy Christmas on the sly

  LOL! Happy Christmas to you, too!
  
• 
  56

  What made you turn atheist or agnostic?

  by LevelThePlayingField in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if you were a jw and are now an atheist or agnostic, what was the tipping point that made you turn to it?.

  the reason i ask is i have noticed that many who leave the jw's seem to turn to atheism, versus still having some form of a faith.

  have many of you given up on god first or have you had atheistic views first and then found atheism to be true.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  I didn't intentionally "turn" agnostic. It just naturally appeared after the equal sign (=) beyond a long, exhaustive, honest search encompassing nearly two decades of my life searching for the existence of God and other entities through prayer, born-again study, meditation, higher self workshops, afterlife forums, chakras, spiritualistic churches, and ghost hunting. I got nothin'.
  

  When I first "left" JWs, I could' t NOT be a believer.

  Now I can't explain why I'd be a believer.
  

  An existential crisis encompassing more than a decade has led me to where I currently am.

  The God who I believed in from age 3-40 is silent and non-existent.
  

  Nature does what it does. Life flows and will flow without my presence. My thoughts, actions, intentions, or love doesn't change what life is programmed to do.
  

  Despite my agony, no God has helped me to rethink it's presence. His or her presence, love, or concern for my life is non-existent. I can only conclude that my being here doesn't matter.
  

  Exiting early has been my plan for many years. For the last decade, there has been no interference, besides my own procrastination. I have double checked on this.
  

  I have begged for validation from anyone out there. It remains zero. My life, in the big picture, is irrelevant.
  

  I am on my own. Whether I'll stay or not until my natural demise.... don't know. What's the point? None that I know of.
• 
  4

  So, Christimas....

  by Phaedra in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  love the music.color, season's greetings, etc.

  even have a desktop tree.. neighbors on the block are all lit up (since thanksgiving = awesome!).

  the colors are gorgeous!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  Love the music.color, season's greetings, etc. Even have a desktop tree.

  Neighbors on the block are all lit up (since Thanksgiving = awesome!). The colors are gorgeous!
  

  Our house is quiet (1JW dub believer + 1 former JW agnostic = compromise).
  

  At my temp job they pinned a tiny stocking full of candy to the outside of my cubical. They will never know what that REALLY means to me, 25 years of my childhood and early adulthood sacrificed to an organization that demonized everything worthwhile as off-limits and gave nothing in return.
  

  I love this time of the year. And the time off. And hate it because I can never relate on the level of a normal person. December 25 is the loneliest day of the year for me.
  

  Anyway, Happy Christmas, fellow j-w.com's. I'll never know what it's really like to be a kid at Christmas, but I can imagine it's pretty cool and wonderful, based on all the times I played with my best friend's toys during our school's xmas vacation.

  If you're inclined, can you PM me so I can Season's greet you with a personal Merry Christmas? My creativity yearns to express itself. I just need some kindred spirits to do so.

  Phae
• 
  26

  Basic Principles for Forum Moderation

  by Simon in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  a perennial issue for any online forum is moderation and applying rules.

  we have a set of community guidelines and posting guidelines that are intended to make clear what is and isn't acceptable but this tends to focus on the obvious standards of behavior for, well, obvious reasons.

  it's easy to talk about people being aggressive or insulting etc... as those are common and clearly unwanted behaviors and the typical issue for online communities - the most likely things to come up.. does this mean that everything *not* on the list is allowed?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  Simon,

  I've been here since the start. That you keep this site going as labor of love is generous.
  phae, class of '99.
  
• 
  21

  Adult Coloring Books

  by littlerockguy in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  anybody take up coloring?

  i got lost ocean by johanna basford and i got another coloring book mandalas and more.

  i just use crayola colored pencils and some gel pens and thin tipped markers.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  Yep, creativity is my thing. I am drawn to big open coloring spaces. The small detailed illustrations don't draw me in as much. Also highly recommended: Mandalas, Zentangles, and JoyRox (coloring on rocks).

  I've made some of my own pages with my own art. I even have a few "kids" books that I work in. It's all the same. I don't care :).
  
• 
  75

  How did you feel when you found out "the truth about the truth"?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so when you first found out specific facts about the organisation, how did you feel??.

  the un membership.

  the way 1914 was calculated from pyramid measurements.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  As a raised-in who stumbled across ttatt in my mid-20s, I was in shock, trying to reconcile all I ever knew with a new reality (that was way east of Eden).
  
• 
  75

  Ray's Books. And Copyrights!

  by DwainBowman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the copyright owner has posted a message on the internet, and can be found below!.

  ray franz.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Phaedra

  Thumb's up on JeffT's post about the business of being a writer and Ms Dykstra's efforts at preserving the integrity for the author's work and wishes.
  

  On my journey out, I did what a lot of people did when they came across Ray's books online, but for whatever reason couldn't order them from his Web site. I requested both from the public library on an interlibrary loan.

  A couple years later, I bought my own set directly from Ray and included a letter about how his work impacted me. He responded with a kind, personal note. Now that he's gone, I feel so lucky to have experienced his presence in that unique way.
  

  A few years after that, when I felt I no longer needed them, I donated the books to my local public library, with the intent that whomever needed them would find and enjoy them. Kind of like paying it forward.