Noonehome I know what it's like to be where you're at right now. :) Worrying about everything falling apart because of the doubts you have, it can be a very anxious time.
I was born into the organisation. So I was taught from birth to do as I was told without thinking for myself.
But I think the best thing is to be honest with yourself about what you want from life. I grew tired of being told what to do by people who weren't doing those things themselves, JW's tend to tell others what they themselves are told to do, not what they know from experience, so you get a lot of fake advice about life and love and none of it really works in the real world. At least it hasn't been of any use to me in the real world.
I was looking for a good wife within the organisation (since that's the only way you can get to know the opposite sex according to their teachings. :P), and I grew tired of the judging ourselves before we make any decisions aspect of life as a JW. Every aspect of your relationships tend to be over analysed and torn apart to be measured against what the literature says. I don't think that's really healthy for relationships.
My experience was, nothing I ever did was good enough, even though I was doing all the "right" things, so I decided to think more about what I wanted from life and went for that result. I found friends and companionship through my art hobby, I stopped going out in field service and stopped going to the meetings less and less... after a while I never went back. I did move around quite a bit at that time to be honest, but I found that refreshing since it was like a fresh start in a lot of ways, moving towns and finding new places to see and new things to do.
I guess I eventually accepted that you can't change what other people like your family and friends believe, you can only control what you believe, and you can't predict how they will react to things, you have to play a lot of things by ear, and accept how they react to each thing that comes up, but know for yourself what you want from life and stick to that.
You don't have to fight with them. You can choose to walk away from the argument, you really don't need to prove everything you do and say to them even though they feel like you do.
My advice would be to decide what you want from life, and then go for that, and remember to take it one step at a time. Be good to others.
All the best with everything. :)