Posts by maybesbabies

38

NOW WHAT

by jt stumbler in

jw
friends

ok. i'm almost finished with c.c.

really good published evidence against the gb.

i don't think i will become an atheist as many have but where do i go now.

"And you shall know them by their works..." Or something to that effect, I can't quite remember after all these years. Basically, you show your uncoditional love for your fellow man by the way you treat others, and the way you live your life. If you produce beautiful works, full of love, designed to help and facilitate joy....you are doing Gods work. Most of all, learn to love yourself as well. I believe it was Peter who said that you cannot do well by others if you have not first taken care of yourself (paraphrasing, of course). Point being, make sure to take time to enjoy the life that you have, use it to fulfill the promises of Christ on this side of whatever "afterlife" you believe in. Why do something solely to get into a "heaven" or "paradise", how selfish is that? Do things because you love your fellow man, because you are humble, and do not shout your works from the street corners like the Pharisees of old. It is an amazing thing when you learn how to truly love. It makes miracles happen, you can do the impossible all of a sudden, you can make yourself everything you've ever wanted to be. Most of all, you learn true compassion and empathy, not through judgmentalism, but through unconditional love. We all know the scripture:

Love is patient, love is kind, Love is not jealous; love does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

38

NOW WHAT

by jt stumbler in

jw
friends

ok. i'm almost finished with c.c.

really good published evidence against the gb.

i don't think i will become an atheist as many have but where do i go now.

maybesbabies

I know what you mean. It's hard to break the old ties. But, the longer you go after "the scales have fallen" from your eyes, the easier it becomes to see. Hang in there, you sound like you are doing just fine!

16

The need for "Fellowship"

by maybesbabies in

it seems to me that a recurring theme for exiting witnesses is not their questions of faith (most have researched mightily before coming here, or had their own crisis of conscience), but the lack of fellowship that will happen if they leave.

it feels good to be part of a group, to feel wanted and needed.

the problem arises when that fellowship is not based on you as a person, but by what image you present, or how much you "produce".

maybesbabies

It seems to me that a recurring theme for exiting witnesses is not their questions of faith (most have researched mightily before coming here, or had their own crisis of conscience), but the lack of fellowship that will happen if they leave. It feels good to be part of a group, to feel wanted and needed. The problem arises when that fellowship is not based on you as a person, but by what image you present, or how much you "produce". That sounds more like a job to me than a friendship. So, how does one go about solving the problem of fellowship? I know it's difficult to get past the idea that all non-JW's are "demonized" or "spawns of Satan". That's probably the hardest habit for a newly exiting JW to break, looking at all others as less than human. I'd like it if you fine folks would post some ideas here for those newly exiting, so that they can find "humanizing" fellowship. I'd like to propose one, that can be done individually. Regularly visit an old age home. Read to the folks there, talk to them, listen to them above all. Find joy in their stories of struggle and triumph, their humanity. Listen to their wisdom. See the faith that they hold. Trust me, you will definitely feel needed!

All ideas are appreciated!

38

NOW WHAT

by jt stumbler in

jw
friends

ok. i'm almost finished with c.c.

really good published evidence against the gb.

i don't think i will become an atheist as many have but where do i go now.

maybesbabies

"....losing hope of ever finding the truth."

Consider this. Before, the "truth" was fed to you by the organization, you didn't have to search for it, it was all right there packaged neatly in their publications. Now that you know their publications contain false information, why not look to the book that is supposed to have the answers? You can find the Truth on your own. You don't need to go "somewhere" to find it, it is already inside you. To me, Truth is following the very simple tenets that Jesus laid out. He did not have a highly controlling organization to tell early Christians what or how to do something in order to love God. He said, love your neighbor, love your enemy, do unto others, etc. That is the real Truth. Love.

28

I'm Outta Here...

by LittleToe in

jw
friends

.

after doing battle with the sellotape and tearing my lip (oh the dangers of xmas present wrapping) and staying up late to pack, i'm finally heading on my way towards seattle.... catch some of you guys sooner rather than later.. be good, now .

maybesbabies

Have a safe trip, don't run afoul of Homeland Security, 'cause I just know they'd be peeking up your kilt...... :D

36

Need wedding inspiration...ideas, anyone?

by maybesbabies in

jw
friends

well, i need inspiration for my wedding this coming may.

i want to have a nature themed wedding, with sage green being the primary color.

i haven't decided if i want to go woodsy, beach-y, or what have you.

maybesbabies

Hey girl your name is very unique and pretty? Do you mind my asking where you are from?

Actually, I grew up in SoCal, and I'm white as white can be!!! I think it was my mother who picked the name, not sure, but I definitely got one of the unique ones!!! Also, I married into the last name Lively, and just kept it when I divorced. So, Tamar Lively, nee' Tamar Waddington. And now, soon to be Tamar Leary. English, English, Irish, lol!!!

36

Need wedding inspiration...ideas, anyone?

by maybesbabies in

jw
friends

well, i need inspiration for my wedding this coming may.

i want to have a nature themed wedding, with sage green being the primary color.

i haven't decided if i want to go woodsy, beach-y, or what have you.

maybesbabies

Thanks for the info, all, keep it coming!

I hope to do this all for around $300.00, but I'm also getting help from friends and family, who have generously offered to help me make decorations, food, etc.

Billygoat:

this is my second marriage as well. The first time I got married, we slapped it together in a couple of days. We'd been together three years at that point, and it almost lasted another three. This time, I want it to be special. It FEELS more special, if that makes any sense! I want to have some beauty and inspiration around us, but I know the most important part is looking my darling in the eyes and promising my self to him forever (and vicey versey for him!)

36

Need wedding inspiration...ideas, anyone?

by maybesbabies in

jw
friends

well, i need inspiration for my wedding this coming may.

i want to have a nature themed wedding, with sage green being the primary color.

i haven't decided if i want to go woodsy, beach-y, or what have you.

maybesbabies

LOL! Well, I'm sure that wouldn't work with my 75 year old father in attendance! But....Edmonds does have a beach...hmmm.....

36

Need wedding inspiration...ideas, anyone?

by maybesbabies in

jw
friends

well, i need inspiration for my wedding this coming may.

i want to have a nature themed wedding, with sage green being the primary color.

i haven't decided if i want to go woodsy, beach-y, or what have you.

maybesbabies

Edmonds park has been used for weddings too.

It sad, seeing that I live in Edmonds, that I've never been to Edmonds park!!! My soon to be s-i-l suggested that as well. We're thinking of a back yard wedding at her house, so we could hold the reception there as well, but the guest list has turned out being a might bigger than I thought it would! Thanks for the suggestions, I'll have to have my honey take me to Davids Bridal, it sounds like the best deal around! I could modify something from there.

Thanks for the compliments, Xena, you are so sweet!!! I would love to have a dress like that!!!

Thanks Xan, for posting all the info, gives me lots of good ideas! Love you!!!

36

Need wedding inspiration...ideas, anyone?

by maybesbabies in

jw
friends

well, i need inspiration for my wedding this coming may.

i want to have a nature themed wedding, with sage green being the primary color.

i haven't decided if i want to go woodsy, beach-y, or what have you.

maybesbabies

Oh no, you're right, he's whipped. I just try to break it to him gently, lol!!! I just copied and pasted that crap from a site I found about writing your own vows. I'm too sheepish to post what I've written so far, but it's 10 times better than that pap, for sure. Thanks for your enthusiasm, RHCP, makes me feel good!

Ok, this is a bit how I want it to go. I'm not sure though, my honey being a godless barbarian and all, if he'd mind the scriptual reference. I think he could care less, really, he's just excited about the moment he gets to slip the ring on my finger, and kiss me, and call me his wife.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Vows:

Rough draft:

(Guy and I both at head of aisle, Guy with male officiator, me with female officiator.)

Officiants

:

Today, we gather together to witness the union of two hearts. There is no more blessed a union than the meeting of two souls, who will now share one mind, one heart, one breath.

Female officiant

: Will you women,Tamars sisters, in flesh and in spirit, stand witness and approve of this marriage? ("We do")

Male officiant

: Will you men, Guys brothers, in flesh and in spirit, stand witness and approve of this marriage? ("We do")

Let any who would object speak now, or forever hold their peace.

(Led to alter by officiants and kneel, facing each other)

Male officiant

(standing next to Guy):

Without love, the world has no meaning. Love is all the traits we could ever hope to find in a partner. Love is patient, love is kind, Love is not jealous; love does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. The love you hold for Tamar is shown to be all this and more. Do you promise here today to love her, cherish her, care for her in sickness and in health, and hold her in your heart forever more? ("I do")

Female Officiant: (standing next to me):

Without love, the world has no meaning. Love is all the traits we could ever hope to find in a partner. Love is patient, love is kind, Love is not jealous; love does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. The love you hold for Guy is shown to be all this and more. Do you promise here today to love him, cherish him, care for him in sickness and in health, and hold him in your heart forever more? ("I do")

(Male and Female officiants help us to rise, wrap ribbon to bind our hands)

Officiants: We now join together, heart and mind, body and soul, these two, that their love may last forever. Please rise and give witness to this beautiful union.

(First kiss as husband and wife)