I still go to this cult because of my wife, she guilts herself into going. she know exactly how i feel and i have told her on many occasions;
1. I go to support her, because she feels it's important to her.
2. I have told her on many occasions that, if i could turn back time and never get involved in this cult i would do it.
But, like i said....95% of the time we have a great relationship and very rarely talk about the cult.
in the famous words of CHER: IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME!