OneEyedJoe
JoinedPosts by OneEyedJoe
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12
"Please consider contributing" -- is this for real?
by Nathan Natas ini have started seeing requests for contributions at the bottom of the screen.. why the change?
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24
Dress and grooming
by stuckinarut2 ini know this is an old topic, but it came to mind again.... yes it is appropriate for people to dress neatly and respectfully for a dignified religious gathering, but why does it have to be a full suit with collared shirt and tie?.
why does it have to be a full dress or skirt and jacket?.
sure, we would find it distasteful for a person to arrive in swimwear or work overalls or other inappropriate attire, but why does it have to conform to strict standards?.
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OneEyedJoe
I completely agree that the dress code is all about control, but as far as gripes against the WTS are concerned, this one is about number 10,001 on my list. There are at least ten thousand better things to go after these guys for
It's a big picture thing. I get that it can seem petty to criticise a requirement to dress like a salesman from the 50s, but it's about more than just that. They use the requirement, and the average JWs acquiescence to it, as a stepping stone to ensure that JWs follow other requirements. More insidious requirements. Requirements like shunning their children or dying for want of a blood transfusion.
Research shows that if you can get someone to do you a small favor, they're more likely to do you a big favor later than if you jumped to the big favor straight away. It's a significant part of human psychology that all cults take advantage of. It's about more than the clothes, it's about what they use the dress requirements to accomplish, and I suspect that most of those 10,000 grievances of yours are in some way related to their control, and a big part of their control is rooted in getting people to make small sacrifices early that eventually escalate into bigger and bigger sacrifices.
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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OneEyedJoe
Google knows me all to well - the other day it stuck this in my recommended news links:
https://represent.com/itsgrace6/grace-helbig-currently-introverting
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24
Dress and grooming
by stuckinarut2 ini know this is an old topic, but it came to mind again.... yes it is appropriate for people to dress neatly and respectfully for a dignified religious gathering, but why does it have to be a full suit with collared shirt and tie?.
why does it have to be a full dress or skirt and jacket?.
sure, we would find it distasteful for a person to arrive in swimwear or work overalls or other inappropriate attire, but why does it have to conform to strict standards?.
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OneEyedJoe
best type error ever one eyed Joe! The required dress code is apparently the same as the meeting content and the organization. there must be a proverb that says something like 'you can't groom a shit'
Lol! Blasted autocorrect! I guess it figured out the spirit of what I was saying and decided shit was much more appropriate than suit. The computers are having Freudian slips. I for one welcome our new robot overlords.
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24
Dress and grooming
by stuckinarut2 ini know this is an old topic, but it came to mind again.... yes it is appropriate for people to dress neatly and respectfully for a dignified religious gathering, but why does it have to be a full suit with collared shirt and tie?.
why does it have to be a full dress or skirt and jacket?.
sure, we would find it distasteful for a person to arrive in swimwear or work overalls or other inappropriate attire, but why does it have to conform to strict standards?.
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OneEyedJoe
Yup. When I was first waking up this particular part of the B in BITE didn't even register with me because it was just so normal to me. I didn't even realize how controlled was until I was awake for a while.
When I was still a fully believing JW, I had a conversation with a worldly workmate in which it came up that I needed to change into a shit for a meeting and she asked me "you can't just go as you are? They won't accept you?" The question made no sense to me at first but I just went off about how it is a sign of respect for god. No thought given to the fact that it doesn't require a full suit to show respect - I've gone on job interviews (in an office setting) dressed much less formally and I've gotten compliments on my attire (got the job too) so why is this full suit required? Particularly in the summer or while working parking at the convention in 100+ degree heat? It's all about control. It's all training you to blindly obey. Getting you conditioned to do exactly as you're told or expect consequences. As JWs love to say - faithful in what is least, faithful in what is most. Just replace faithful with obedient/controlled.
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24
Should I stay married to my JW wife
by gatorguy inme and my wife were at the beach the other day and i finally told her, i don't think i believe in god anymore.
i fessed up to the fact that it started with me doubting some jw beliefs and then it just led me to this point where i don't even believe in god.
i wouldn't say that i even have a negative view towards jw's or religion in general.
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OneEyedJoe
What Lisa said - that's a decision that no one here is qualified to make for you, but it's definitely a tough one. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? They can help you work through things to figure out what you really want and what the best course of action is. A good therapist won't influence you, they'll just help you to make the decision yourself.
I eventually decided to end my marriage. I gave it some time after leaving the cult to try to make things work, but it went downhill fast. From your tone, it sounds like your wife is handling things in a much more measured and respectful manner than mine, which bodes well for you. You'll have to figure out what sacrifices you're willing to make, though. I couldn't keep going to meetings and I didn't want to live by the cult's rules. I wanted to start living a normal life but my wife would never support me in that and was only negative about anything new I did.
It'll probably take you both a while to settle in to the new normal, whatever that is. Once you start to see what that looks like, you'll probably have a better idea of what you want to do.
There's no need to rush this, just be honest with her and yourself and it'll either work or it'll start to become clear that it's not going to. Good luck!
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WTBTS / GBoJW elevating status of their literature
by Nicholaus Kopernicus inthe following is a brief examination of one disturbing paragraph in the august 2016 study watchtower - "do you see the need to make spiritual progress?"11.
what spiritual qualities can we work to develop, and why are they important?
11 develop spiritual qualities.
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OneEyedJoe
This reminds me of an article from a little over a year ago wherein they referred to 'the bible and the body of Christian teachings' or something like that. I remember pointing it out to my wife and asking "what are these Christian teachings they're referring to, if it's not from the bible?"
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16
I have a plan....
by DATA-DOG inwith all of the bat-shit crazy propaganda of late, i'm considering talking to my wife about the cult.
we have had zero religious discussions for two years.
the last discussion ended with ,"you have no beliefs, no personal beliefs, because you change your "beliefs" when the wtbts writes an article.
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OneEyedJoe
and she cried, saying that she would rather see me die, because at least we would be together ( platonic??) in Pandadise.
My wife said something very similar when I told her I didn't want to be a JW anymore. How can they not see that if their belief system leaves them wishing for the death of the person they love most maybe that's the source of the problem?
As for playing the anointed angle, I don't see how that will work if she's been keeping up with the latest indoctrination. A recent study article basically said that the anointed aren't special, and with the GB=FDS stuff, they've demoted the anointed into being essentially meaningless.
I like your plan for your daughter. No kids should have to live in fear that their parents will shun them at the drop of a hat. Maybe you could use something similar on your wife - point out that the phone call in the video could've been an emergency and the mother's shunning could've just as easily lead to their daughter's death as to her returning. Then ask if she could do that to your daughter just because she decided to disassociate or if she took blood to save her life.
In my experience trying to use doctrine to validate your position or to criticise the org is a lost cause. With my wife, if she didn't like the logical conclusion I came to when discussing doctrine, she would just concluded that I was mistaken and she just wasn't clever enough to figure out how. So I'd suggest skipping doctrine and going for her emotions. That's the cult's method because it works - win the emotional battle and the rest will follow.
Also, feel free to ignore me...I never managed to get anywhere with my wife. I knew the theory of how to wake someone up, but never was any good at putting it into practice. In any event, I feel for ya. You're in a shit spot to be sure, i wish you the best of luck.
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What about this as an exhuse against being DF'd?
by purrpurr inwith the many examples in the bible of jehovah taking control of someone's heart and causing them therefore to sin and do something bad... what if when discovered in a sin a jw said to the elders that it was not them that sinned... oh no!
it was jehovah who put it into their hearts to sin!
therefore they cannot be held responsible for their actions.. the elders would not be able to prove otherwise, what would they do?.
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OneEyedJoe
You're forgetting that Jehovah was an absolute asshole and even in cases where he made someone disobey, he still punished them. A prime example being pharaoh and the 10 plauges. God made his heart obstinate and then punished him for it. So if you use that as an excuse for "sin" then the elders will probably see no reason not to punish you nonetheless.
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I feel frustrated
by BlackWolf inhello all, things for the most part have been somewhat better for me because my parents haven't talked about baptism or anything recently.
i got a scholarship to go to art camp for a few weeks which has been fun (since its free, my parents didn't refuse) but it has also been very nervewracking for me.
i haven't been around any non jws for more than a year and its like being in a different world, a world where people are actually real and genuine and not mindless drones.
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OneEyedJoe
Ugh yeah I remember those days... i guess was never really aware I was in a cult, but the JW separateness never felt right to me so I would always make excuses for why I couldn't hang out with people outside of school.
I'm afraid I don't have any great advice for how to make people understand what you're going through. Most likely there won't be many young folks that will be able to understand, but I suspect there'll be some. Just keep trying, though maybe take it a little slower so you don't get people threatening to get you in trouble. It might take some effort and patience but you'll eventually find some kids that will understand. Unfortunately it may require that they, too, have suffered a traumatic childhood, but then maybe you'll be able to provide some much needed understanding to them.
Hang in there, keep trying, celebrate the little successes. Remember that you won't be stuck where you are forever, you will find freedom someday soon.