why are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
"As a doctor, I find religious zealots sickening. I had to let a 12 year old die because his parents are Seventh Day Adventists who don't believe in blood transfusions.", I complained to my friend.
"Isn't it Jehovah's Witnesses who don't allow blood transfusions?" he asked.
"Oh shit!"
why are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
A Jehovah's Witness told me a joke the other day.
'Knock knock' he said.
I slowly crouched behind the sofa and pretended I wasn't there.
why are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
"It's those Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on the door again," said my wife.
"Oh well," I sighed. "I suppose it IS time I let them out of the cellar."
why are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
why are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?
Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sssshhhhhh! pretend we are not in!!"
... and it bumped into a concrete wall.
you know what he said?.
"dam!
... and it bumped into a concrete wall.
you know what he said?.
"dam!
Why was the blonde standing in the kitchen staring at the orange juice for over two hours?
Because it said "CONCENTRATE" on the label.
today as i had the old timey music playing and the song love potion no.
9 came on, i remembered being reproved by a brother at a get together when i sang along to that same song.
oh that song is spiritistic, blah blah.
Anybody ever wonder what would happen if you were to go back to the meetings and start singing "Rockin' At The Kingdom Hall" by Van Morrison?
Would a JW be reprimanded for doing that?
... and it bumped into a concrete wall.
you know what he said?.
"dam!
Sabin,
That is sick!!! You know any other good'uns??
when the rnwt was released, we were invited to go to the local assembly hall.. there was a sister right next to me and she started bragging that it was her 8th year in an annual meeting.
(typical thing, all spiritual).
when was time to sing, i listened to her beautiful voice.
Something similar, many, many years ago. Back in the '70's when I was in my 20's. I was at at an assembly in Ft. Worth, TX. My friend was with me, he was kind of a "goof". Well, so was I actually.
Anyway, my friend came into the auditorium late, everyone was already singing the opening song. I think it was song number 65 or something like that. My friend says, "What song are we singing?"
My friend did not have a good singing voice. In fact, it was terrible, and he sang LOUD!
So, I started to tell him we were singing song number 65 when, all of a sudden, a voice in my head told me to tell him we were singing song number 66. It's on the very next page! Open the song book and you could see both songs.
So he begins singing, very loudly, the words to the wrong song! He was doing his darndest to make the words fit! It took every bit of effort that was within me to keep from laughing out loud! I was trying to keep the tears in my eyes!
By the time he realized what I had done the singing was over. He laughed, though. Then he threatened to kill me. Oh, if only I had a video of that moment in time!!!
