A Jehovah's Witness told me a joke the other day.
'Knock knock' he said.
I slowly crouched behind the sofa and pretended I wasn't there.
apostrate
JoinedPosts by apostrate
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9
On the Lighter Side...
by apostrate inwhy are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
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9
On the Lighter Side...
by apostrate inwhy are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
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apostrate
"It's those Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on the door again," said my wife.
"Oh well," I sighed. "I suppose it IS time I let them out of the cellar."
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9
On the Lighter Side...
by apostrate inwhy are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
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apostrate
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
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9
On the Lighter Side...
by apostrate inwhy are there no jehovah's witnesses in heaven?.
because god and saint peter are behind the gates saying, "sssshhhhhh!
pretend we are not in!!
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apostrate
Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?
Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sssshhhhhh! pretend we are not in!!"
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16
So there was a fish swimming along...
by Zoos in... and it bumped into a concrete wall.
you know what he said?.
"dam!
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apostrate
An Irish drunk staggered down the main street of the town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to a cathedral and into the entrance, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had observed all this, and figured the fellow needed some help, so he entered his side of the confessional. After the priest sat there in deathly silence, he finally asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno," came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any paper on your side?" -
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So there was a fish swimming along...
by Zoos in... and it bumped into a concrete wall.
you know what he said?.
"dam!
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apostrate
Why was the blonde standing in the kitchen staring at the orange juice for over two hours?
Because it said "CONCENTRATE" on the label.
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I Rolled My Eyes When...
by Iown Mylife intoday as i had the old timey music playing and the song love potion no.
9 came on, i remembered being reproved by a brother at a get together when i sang along to that same song.
oh that song is spiritistic, blah blah.
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apostrate
Anybody ever wonder what would happen if you were to go back to the meetings and start singing "Rockin' At The Kingdom Hall" by Van Morrison?
Would a JW be reprimanded for doing that?
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So there was a fish swimming along...
by Zoos in... and it bumped into a concrete wall.
you know what he said?.
"dam!
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apostrate
Sabin,
That is sick!!! You know any other good'uns??
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10
A funny moment... lol
by hardtobeme inwhen the rnwt was released, we were invited to go to the local assembly hall.. there was a sister right next to me and she started bragging that it was her 8th year in an annual meeting.
(typical thing, all spiritual).
when was time to sing, i listened to her beautiful voice.
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apostrate
Something similar, many, many years ago. Back in the '70's when I was in my 20's. I was at at an assembly in Ft. Worth, TX. My friend was with me, he was kind of a "goof". Well, so was I actually.
Anyway, my friend came into the auditorium late, everyone was already singing the opening song. I think it was song number 65 or something like that. My friend says, "What song are we singing?"
My friend did not have a good singing voice. In fact, it was terrible, and he sang LOUD!
So, I started to tell him we were singing song number 65 when, all of a sudden, a voice in my head told me to tell him we were singing song number 66. It's on the very next page! Open the song book and you could see both songs.
So he begins singing, very loudly, the words to the wrong song! He was doing his darndest to make the words fit! It took every bit of effort that was within me to keep from laughing out loud! I was trying to keep the tears in my eyes!
By the time he realized what I had done the singing was over. He laughed, though. Then he threatened to kill me. Oh, if only I had a video of that moment in time!!!
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If our bodies were really supposed to live forever...
by Zoos ini recently finish obtaining a personal fitness trainer certification.
in that study i learned how the body will move blood to the core in a hypothermia situation, sacrificing the limbs/extremities in order to protect the vital organs.. why would such a survival mechanism need to be built into a body that was designed to live forever in paradise on earth?.
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apostrate
Interesting! I made a similar comment just yesterday on a post here. The human body is designed to heal itself whenever we scrape our arms, legs, etc.
I asked why Good would have made humans that way if they were designed "perfect", so as to not accidentally fall down or hurt themselves.