as a former elder, you should know the scriptures to show her where God does not expect 'works' to show him how a person accepts jesus as the son.
your heart condition, is what makes God notice, not the works of men he is the hearer of prayer, not men.
God reads the heart, not a service form.
how she thinks a loving god would ever judge her for not being a wonder woman is beyond me.
explain to her that by taking care of her own health and happiness, will make her a better person inside, and a better loving wife and companion to you her husband.[ taking care of her family is all god expects from any woman.] god doesn't want or need worn out frazzled people,lol
This is what God wants from her, to love you and enjoy the gift of life.
what sort of god does she want to worship?
one that judges her on some warped idea of recordable 'works', or on her heart and love for her family?
one who wants a joyful heart or one who makes 'notes'?
how would she treat someone like herself? someone who feels depressed and sad and anxious? what would her advice be?
is she better than god? she might be.
by her being a simple loving happy wife is the best gift she can give to god.
not for her to conform and be upset due to an unbalanced view of worship.
best of luck.