Had an interesting conversation with my wife recently. She struggles with physical, emotional and psychological problems which have often caused her to miss meetings. She mentioned how she is equally tortured by guilt if she misses meetings and ministry, and severe stress if she does them. Hobson's choice. She suspects me of reading on sites like this only because I have sometimes raised difficult questions. She is terrified that I will stop going as it is a lifeline to her, while at the same time the whole witness lifestyle is the cause of much of her stress. I am a former elder who has held most congregational posts. I now feel zero guilt. How can you feel guilty about something which has misled you? Still love the bros and sis on the ground but the higher ups? Well.....
Some thoughts on guilt.
by New day 30 Replies latest jw experiences
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prologos
New day: "--I am a former elder who has held most congregational posts. I now feel zero guilt. But do you feel any guilt in having through your teaching as an elder participated in deluding so many? -
Ucantnome
How can you feel guilty about something which has misled you? Still love the bros and sis on the ground but the higher ups
Maybe you should tell the bros and sis how you feel about the higher ups. Carefully.
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New day
To answer your question, at the time I was teaching it I truly believed that what I thought would help people. I still believe that the basic Christian precepts taught by Jesus are a positive force for good. I tried not to ever guilt others into doing things, and as I look back I can see that I mostly chose, for example, public talk outlines on Christian living rather than the other, more iffy areas. I accept my part in encouraging others to take on board something I later realized was not all that it seemed to be, but we all have to live with our mistakes. -
New day
Ucantnome, that is not an option for me at the moment. Got to stay below the parapet to be a support for my wife. She still fully believes and is super fragile. -
Landy
Don't answer their questions - they're being judgemental tossers.
Good luck with your wife.
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Ucantnome
take good care of her
She still fully believes and is super fragile.
my suggestion was probably not a good idea
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Ucantnome
Don't answer their questions - they're being judgemental tossers.
Landy is that how you judged my post?
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Tornintwo
I was like your wife, severe problems with guilt and stress. Especially as a mum, as a jw you are supposed to keep the house very clean and be on top of everything there, support your husband in his privileges, hospitality etc, teach your children, work (at least in my case) , attend all meetings, prepare for all meetings, ministry as much as possible and help your kids to do the same. Then I would feel guilty and extremely stressed if I slipped up in any of these areas. Inevitably there would be some item on the assembly about 'doing more' with some demo about a super pioneer disabled mum of triplets and I'd end up in bits afterwards. It's pure mental torture.
Try to help your wife to start enjoying life, ask her is this what God really wants for her to be stressed, guilt ridden, loaded down, or to be happy and healthy and heartfelt in anything she does for God. It's men who put the burdens, rules and demands on us, nothing in the scriptures has it so. The only statistics counted converted new believers, never hours.
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Xanthippe
Guilt can be a sign of clinical depression. It's a common symptom of low serotonin. The chemical imbalance comes first, you feel guilty and then your brain looks for reasons why you are feeling guilt. Prolonged stress depletes the body of serotonin. Rest and reducing stress will help if that's what's happening to your wife.