Your comments have been truly helpful everyone. Things Aww still off and I with I could fast forward my recovery, but I truly appreciate every word and kind thought.
tiff21390
JoinedPosts by tiff21390
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35
Perfect Relationship, He Still Broke Up With Me
by tiff21390 inlast month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a jehovah's witness convention.
he'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and i knew something was wrong.
i initiated a discussion and he said, "essentially our relationship is wrong and i'm not supposed to be with you.
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35
Perfect Relationship, He Still Broke Up With Me
by tiff21390 inlast month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a jehovah's witness convention.
he'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and i knew something was wrong.
i initiated a discussion and he said, "essentially our relationship is wrong and i'm not supposed to be with you.
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tiff21390
Thank you all again. I took some time and I still feel in the same place with this. I guess it's going to take time.
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35
Perfect Relationship, He Still Broke Up With Me
by tiff21390 inlast month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a jehovah's witness convention.
he'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and i knew something was wrong.
i initiated a discussion and he said, "essentially our relationship is wrong and i'm not supposed to be with you.
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tiff21390
Yeah, we broke up more than a month ago and finally ending our post breakup limbo is kind of putting me back at square one. I just never believed that he would succumb to the pressure of such beliefs given his every day behavior. We'd loved each other for so long and were inseparable. Even our friends can't believe we've ended. It's frustrating because I just want to shake the feeling of it didn't have to be this way and embrace it completely. I suppose I need time and to continue with this complete break from him. It just really sucks.
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35
Perfect Relationship, He Still Broke Up With Me
by tiff21390 inlast month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a jehovah's witness convention.
he'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and i knew something was wrong.
i initiated a discussion and he said, "essentially our relationship is wrong and i'm not supposed to be with you.
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tiff21390
Thank you all for the new comments. I woke up feeling discouraged and these comments have truly helped. Dis-Member, I am 24 and he is 27. Kneehighmiah, I'm not the first girl he slept with. He was disfellowshiped as a teen for doing that which was probably the catalyst experience that started his fraudulent lifestyle. I do feel that he's in turmoil. It must be agonizing trying to deny your true self, but he just won't acknowledge that he doesn't align himself with the JW lifestyle.
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35
Perfect Relationship, He Still Broke Up With Me
by tiff21390 inlast month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a jehovah's witness convention.
he'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and i knew something was wrong.
i initiated a discussion and he said, "essentially our relationship is wrong and i'm not supposed to be with you.
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tiff21390
Thank you all so much for responding. No, he hasn't confessed and he isn't going to because it's not about the religion as much as it is the appearance. I see that now. Thanks for the support with my decision to cut contact. It's so hard.
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35
Perfect Relationship, He Still Broke Up With Me
by tiff21390 inlast month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a jehovah's witness convention.
he'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and i knew something was wrong.
i initiated a discussion and he said, "essentially our relationship is wrong and i'm not supposed to be with you.
-
-
tiff21390
Last month, my best friend of four years and boyfriend of six months came home from a Jehovah's Witness convention. He'd been acting strangely the entire weekend and I knew something was wrong. I initiated a discussion and he said, "Essentially our relationship is wrong and I'm not supposed to be with you." I asked, "So do we need to break up?" He said nothing. I heard the unspoken, packed my bags and though there were tears amongst both of us, he let me go. This man was not the man that has asked me, six months ago, to pack my things and move to another state to be with him. This wasn't my best friend that I'd bonded heavily with over the years, who was my match in so many ways. This wasn't the man I sat down with and made a pros and cons list with concerning whether or not we should date and put our cherished friendship on the line. This man was spouting some doctrine to me about being unevenly yoked and letting me walk away. Hearkening back to our discussion of the pros and cons of our union, we specifically brought up our different beliefs. He's a JW and I'm non-denominational, after all. I didn't see a problem with us because I'm just not a bible-thumping, hot believer. I'm lukewarm. He said, "Our fundamental and core values are the same so I know our small differences won't matter. You're the only woman I could see myself having children and raising a family with." Because, he himself isn't an active believer, I accepted his words. Fast forward to him uprooting me from my life with empty promises now telling me that he wasn't supposed to be with me at all. He cited God and feeling whole as stirring up his newfound conflict but I knew that those weren't the real reasons. The real reason is that in his real life, he's a man that doesn't attend regular meetings, had a live-in, non-JW girlfriend, whom he regular had sex with, but to his very serious and active JW parents, he was a true Witness. I suppose the consequences of their discovering his duplicity were too much for him to shoulder any longer so he unceremoniously dumped me, his best friend and lover. Since our breakup, I've committed emotional suicide by listening to him tell me how much he still loves me, but also how confused he is, by having sex with him which was wrong because surely sex before marriage is frowned upon by his parents, and by basically allowing him to keep me hanging on while he keeps his family believing that he's "upright." He even confessed to me that his life is a front and we had a talk about him needing to decide the man he wants to be and be honest about it but still nothing. He says he's figuring it out but what is there to figure out? Either stop lying and be honest or fall in line. He'd become too accustomed to trying to have both. I'm basically writing this because I am confused. He never was an active witness. If he were, I'd never allowed a relationship. I care for him and wouldn't want to compromise him. He only marginally upheld his beliefs and customs. He went so far as to wear a beard, plan a birthday celebration weekend for me, support my decision to enlist, have sex with me, etc. I never asked for any of these things. I accepted his beliefs and customs and respected them. I thought we were on the same page but the one thing I overlooked was his lack of desire to tell his parents about us. They'd met me before when we were just friends but he would not inform them of our relationship. He said there would be a big deal about it. It annoyed me because he's grown and definitely not a model JW but I figured, in time, he'd be honest with them. He just wasn't ready. I had no idea that he altogether wasn't supposed to be with me and that telling them would blow this cover he'd built with them for years. Sadly, I see the relationship for what it is. I just would like some advice and encouragement on how to deal. My dad is a minister and when I left home, I introduced my ex to him and told him I was leaving to be with him. My Dad, knowing that no matter what, I'm going to be myself, said, "You've got to live your life and you want to move and start a life with him." I expected my ex to one day do the same. Instead, he threw it all away. I'm having a hard time with it because I truly love him and we made finite plans like when we'd get married, how many children we'd have and we even named them. He was my best friend in every sense and was always there for me. I still love him so much. I've decided to end all contact with him as it hurts too much to now realize that he's ok with having sex and carrying on with me without committing to me. I'm hurt because he's not the man I've known. He's a stranger now.