Elsewhere- what works for others is fine, and I don't judge them too harshly for it. But for me, living together would just not feel right. Keep in mind, I'm tremendously old-fashioned about this one subject, while rather progressive about others. If someone else feels that living together is ok, then for them it is ok. But it gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomache to think of doing it myself. To then move in with him, feeling as I do, would be a grave mistake, leading to me hating myself and hating him; I couldn't do that to us.
Insomniac
JoinedPosts by Insomniac
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
Oi, I'm fixing to club him, if he won't fish or cut bait.
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22
Gasoline / Petroleum breaks the £1 / Litre barrier
by LittleToe inyes, it's official!
my last fill-up cost well over 50, at a cost of 101.9p/litre.. even having been accustomed to paying 10% more than in mainland scotland, this is a new all-time high.
it was bad enough when it broke the 1 / gallon mark, but this is outrageous!.
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Insomniac
Horse and buggy setup is starting to look very attractive. Free fertilizer, and I think oats are cheaper than gas.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
Elsewhere, buddy, maybe you're right. I do on one level have an idealized fantasy of my wedding day. What woman doesn't, though? However, I'm old enough to have some sense of what marriage entails- very few romantic notions there.
His divorce was semi-amicable. He paid more than he would have liked, but far less than he could have. They're still on reasonably friendly terms. Every year he gives me money to buy her birthday and Christmas presents, which he sends her. She still loves him and wants him to come back, but he's out of love with her.
And yes, I care how others perceive me. That's not a bad thing, is it- to want to fit in with society, to be normal? I don't think so, but I know I'm not the poster child for self-esteem or mental health. Counseling is a good idea. I've made the suggestion, but he says couples should be able to work things out on their own. He did go to school (in the 70's) to be a sex therapist, so he's got mad opinions on the subject.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
Little Toe- you've hit the nail on the head. He does tend to say that, as things are so perfect, why make any changes? I say, if humanity as a whole held that attitude, we'd still be living in caves, banging rocks together. I feel that things can always be improved; he feels that while that may be so, it's not neccessary.
Rebel8- he did at one time hint at us co-habiting. I told him that I didn't care to be lumped in with his past lovers. If I'm so much more special than them (as he says,) I should be his wife, not just another chick he shacks up with.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
LT- Geez, I need to hang on to some of my childish fantasies! I told him early on that since I asked him out in the first place, he'd have to be the one to propose. I can be maddeningly traditional at times, I admit.
ticktockticktock...still waiting for him to say those four little words.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
Elsewhere- we will live together, as people in love are meant to do. We will have made a public declaration of our commitment, in front of our friends and family. Incidentally, I would be on his insurance plan- admittedly, not a reason to wed by itself, but it would sure help my situation. Also, I want respect, not to be considered a cheap shackup. I sincerely apologize to anyone who lives together without marriage; if it works for you, cool. But I couldn't bring myself to do that.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
wanderlust- I asked him. He says he'll never want another woman, I'm his soulmate. And that we're together forever. Just not Mr. and Mrs. Although he does on occasion introduce me as his wife, which I don't get.
And men say women are hard to understand!
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
Fleaman, I don't pressure him. I rarely bring it up, in fact. I do think about it a lot, but as he knows my thoughts on the matter, I don't burden him all that often.
Elsewhere- why is marriage not important for everyone else lately? I can't take credit for inventing it; it's been a part of the human experience for ages now. Like using silverware and wearing clothing, it's one of the civilized habits that sets us apart from the bloody gorillas.
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47
How long is too long?
by Insomniac injust a question, for those who might know.
how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.
i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.
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Insomniac
The thing is, we've been through everything together. He does respect me, cupcake- he just doesn't feel marriage holds any meaning. And, we spend half our time together at his house, have travelled together (9 days in my two-door Toyota, cross-country to meet his sister. Didn't argue once.) So, I think we've established that we can be in the same space together for long periods. Maybe it's because he's older, has already had a marriage and a divorce, so he doesn't care. I just wish he'd care enough to make me happy.