To “backformore”: Just a general principle that comes to my mind is that old saying, “One in the hand is better than two in the bush” (probably relating to catching birds). It all boils down to playing the odds. The given known is that you have your wife and two children right now and everything seems more or less “okay” for you and your family. Spin the wheel of chance and it lands on a third child by invetro fertilization, and there could be devestating problems with your wife and/or whatever baby which the process might produce. Or, spin the wheel and it lands on a third child by adoption, and there could likewise be some kind of unfortunate problems and grief, either now or later. Or, spin the wheel and it lands on a third child by an interim arrangement of foster care through some family services agency. Again, there could be some unforseen problems and grief, but more on a trial basis than a permanent arrangement. Still, none of the options which that wheel of chance could land on have any guarantees of absolute or worry-free “success.” Again, it’s basically a matter of playing the odds.
If I were you, not being any kind of a gambling man myself, I would only proceed with the utmost caution and patience. You could keep spinning that wheel of chance, but you know that you could always simply take what you have right now – which seems to me, from your above post, to be quite “okay” and desirable indeed. Above anything else, just make sure that you and your family enjoy whatever you have right at this moment, and try not to agonize or worry unnecessarily. Above all, just bask in the happiness, contentment, and gratitude which is tangibly possible right at this very moment.
Take care. Best wishes for you and your family.