My kids asked to go to the local church here, so I took them. The pastor came up to me, and introduced herself to me. She asked me some questions, and I told her, I don't know if I can even believe in god. I mean, I am going to be killed at Armageddon no matter what I do, so why even try. I am not a good dub. Heck, I am not a dub at all. I can't even say I believe in Jesus as god's son. He may have existed, but I just don;t know.
That's where I am. Is there a god? I don't know. I don't want a mean god as portrayed by the society, I don't know what is out there. I am just starting my journey. But I will never serve a god like that again.