Mandrake

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Posts by Mandrake

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  11

  DA letter sent... It was weird!

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well i was telling you days ago that i wrote my da letter... i decided to deliver it myself to the elders.

  it'a been about a year i didn't show up nor talk to the majority of old friends.

  one of my best friends (who's is 2-3 years older than me, i'm 25) is now an elder... some times i don't understand him, he's an engineer from a prestigious university (the most prestigious universities here in chile, are 2, the one from where he got his degree and the one i'm attending)... he even red crisis of conscience and has doubts... but still endured inside.. my congo were based in our historic city downtown, so our territory was small... i parked my car near the hall and walked near for a while while the meeting was over.

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  Mandrake

  :) I'm leaving with only with the good memories, I'll always be there for them! I'll keep going with my English hehehehe, sometimes when I'm hanging out with some friends i talk in *very* broken English with some special *indian* accent and they find it very funny hahahaha
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  46

  My cat died suddenly!

  by Fisherman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did not realize that they were symptoms that something was wrong with my cat -but i did notice that my cat was breathing a little differently for a period of about a few days.

  i also noticed prior and after to that, that on occasion, my cat would cry at the litter box, but that was a very seldom event.. anyway, about a week ago i noticed the symptom that my very loved cat was breathing heavy.

  so i called a taxi and i was going to rush him to emergency room for cats.

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  Mandrake

  Cats are Very loving creatures that deeply attach to its owner. I love mine so much and he's been sick these days (an abscess), so I understand your grief, I have also lost cats in the past, just try to have the best memories with your cat in your mind and heart!
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  11

  DA letter sent... It was weird!

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well i was telling you days ago that i wrote my da letter... i decided to deliver it myself to the elders.

  it'a been about a year i didn't show up nor talk to the majority of old friends.

  one of my best friends (who's is 2-3 years older than me, i'm 25) is now an elder... some times i don't understand him, he's an engineer from a prestigious university (the most prestigious universities here in chile, are 2, the one from where he got his degree and the one i'm attending)... he even red crisis of conscience and has doubts... but still endured inside.. my congo were based in our historic city downtown, so our territory was small... i parked my car near the hall and walked near for a while while the meeting was over.

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  Mandrake

  Thank you! It's encouraging to know that somewhere are people getting over and facing the same, and most important by now reading what I've been through recently. I just writed this on my phone and didn't check back, maybe auto correction and check spelling may have messed up a bit! And of course there is some lack of English writing practice. I'm still young and eager to learn :)
• 
  11

  DA letter sent... It was weird!

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well i was telling you days ago that i wrote my da letter... i decided to deliver it myself to the elders.

  it'a been about a year i didn't show up nor talk to the majority of old friends.

  one of my best friends (who's is 2-3 years older than me, i'm 25) is now an elder... some times i don't understand him, he's an engineer from a prestigious university (the most prestigious universities here in chile, are 2, the one from where he got his degree and the one i'm attending)... he even red crisis of conscience and has doubts... but still endured inside.. my congo were based in our historic city downtown, so our territory was small... i parked my car near the hall and walked near for a while while the meeting was over.

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  Mandrake

  

  Well I was telling you days ago that I wrote my DA letter... I decided to deliver it myself to the elders. It'a been about a year I didn't show up nor talk to the majority of old friends. One of my best friends (who's is 2-3 years older than me, I'm 25) is now an elder... Some times I don't understand him, he's an engineer from a prestigious university (the most prestigious universities here in Chile, are 2, the one from where he got his degree and the one I'm attending)... He even red Crisis of Conscience and has doubts... But still endured inside.

  my Congo were based in our historic city downtown, so our territory was small... I parked my car near the hall and walked near for a while while the meeting was over. That walk brought very deep remembrances and feelings from many years ago, I first came to that Congo 15 years ago, I was 10, my glide has changed a lot since then... My family broke, I struggled on my first university years, etc...

  The time was ticking and I had no particular plan on how to deliver my DA letter, I started to felt some angst... The same deep hopeless feeling I had when struggles to bring out the topic of my now ex non-JW girlfriend, the feeling of being stopped by the same old cold stone wall made up of doubt, fear, anxiety and guilt... I could never make a stand, I lost that girl, she wasn't patient enough, I wasn't brave enough to fight, I couldn't make it had sense...

  That was the past, I wasn't there to be a coward, so resolved to go on (I had in my mind the kind words and encourage from of some of you the other day when I had my letter wrote!!!)

  it was about the time the meeting was supposed to be ending, I directed my feet straight to the hall... I took three steps and I saw in the distance and old lady that always were very kind to me... Again I started to doubt. I crossed the street and took the other way to the wall... I said to myself "no matter who is getting in your way we are not stopping now changing route!!!" Two steps ahead I saw my good old friend and neighbor... I hadn't see her in a year, now she were married and her "husband" (oh los how I hated him, always considered him a moron)... She didn't recognize me at first, then she smiled and hug me tight and said to me "it's been a long time, I'm SO happy to see you"

  i replied, "where are you going with HIM unaccompanied?!" She laughed for a while... "I'm very happy to see you too, i love you very very much (I can't find a word to translate from Spanish a friendly -not romantic- kind of love, but let's say that I was referring to "agape" love)... Then she told me that we should meet soon "I hope that too" replies, I looked in her eyes and I think deep inside she knew it was for me a very final situation, I was truly affected and my face surely were expressing it... Her husband just looked and were a passive watcher of the scene, certainly he knew that between she and me were some "feelings" long long ago. We parted and there I was, at hall's door...

  suddleny mu friend now-elder came out! "Oh long time we didn't see each other! We surely have so much to talk!!!" Yes bro, 2 years and he only had me on Facebook to stalk, never wrote a single message, always "spying", silent, what a rat! Anyhow for good old time's sake I walked him home (2 blocks away) and talked for a while... I didn't mention my visit's real intentions.

  time was running out, enough to distractions were taken, the I saw the elder I wanted to talk going home in his car... It was maybe too late and no one left on the wall... I hurried and there I was again, in front of the hall's door... And it was locked, bad thing, I would let the letter for them to find it. But suddleny against one elder gets out... It was one I knew well and counseled me many times. He also knew how my family broke up... He was the one. We talked a little. Remember him talking "not to forget jehovah"... And leaving. Then I spoke about and said "wait... (I took out the envelop from my pocket) I have a letter in wrote for the BOE, I would like to give it to you, it's about some things I've been considering over time"... Can I open and read it my self, he asked. Of course you can! he looked the envelope, my name in the back, gave me a hug and we said goodbye... Some guys I knew were left inside the hall, but I didn't turn back and walked to my car, I took a deep breath and listened to a song o used to play a lot as a teenager, when doubts started, I was always careful about the lyrics of the music I liked, and this song (some will recognize it) said in one verse "I got soul but I'm not a soldier"... Well I wasn't a soldier of the WT anymore, I was starting to live my live free, and of course I had a soul, now it was free. I started the engine drove... It now seems a a long long time ago when I visited this site for the first time, of course with some guilt and fear, I clearly remember research about the flood and the "only 6000 years of human history", time passed o registered, then posted, in parallel my life changed, friends were lost, I entered college, I broke up with my first and on top of it non-JW girlfriend, family broke up, mother and sister tried to kill themselves on many occasions, I found my now girlfriend and found happiness, my mother recovered and now it's "awoken" and full of positive thoughts and no longer feeling that the Jws are the "truth" anymore.

  My life has changed forever, I want to thank you all for the encourage and great advise and the info I got from your experiences. Thank you also for reading (it seems that this is the longest thing I ever wrote in English that it's not academic!

  now it's time to wait for the announcement, in the meantime I think I will write something for my still inside good old friends...

  cheers!

  
  
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  14

  DA: Today I used my typewriter and fountain pen

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last week my mother (i live with her) gave me some clues that she finally awoke, and well, that came to be true and we now speak openly against many many things i considered taboo to talk to her.

  so with that achieved, it was time for a delayed duty, i took my typewriter one wrote my da letter, and signed it with my favorite fountain pen, with my "trade mark" royal blue ink (everyone in the hall knew me for using that color and type of pen).

  i will hand it to the elders tomorrow, in february 14th, the "day of love".

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  Mandrake

  :) my mom is being happier, last week we organized a bbq dinner with my gf and her brother, so we 4 enjoyed just because we wanted, it's been more happy moments with mom and she seem to start enjoying life beyond the wt
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  14

  DA: Today I used my typewriter and fountain pen

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last week my mother (i live with her) gave me some clues that she finally awoke, and well, that came to be true and we now speak openly against many many things i considered taboo to talk to her.

  so with that achieved, it was time for a delayed duty, i took my typewriter one wrote my da letter, and signed it with my favorite fountain pen, with my "trade mark" royal blue ink (everyone in the hall knew me for using that color and type of pen).

  i will hand it to the elders tomorrow, in february 14th, the "day of love".

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  Mandrake

  Thank you all! I'm looking forward writing the "long" post from start to end of this trip!!!!
• 
  14

  DA: Today I used my typewriter and fountain pen

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last week my mother (i live with her) gave me some clues that she finally awoke, and well, that came to be true and we now speak openly against many many things i considered taboo to talk to her.

  so with that achieved, it was time for a delayed duty, i took my typewriter one wrote my da letter, and signed it with my favorite fountain pen, with my "trade mark" royal blue ink (everyone in the hall knew me for using that color and type of pen).

  i will hand it to the elders tomorrow, in february 14th, the "day of love".

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  Mandrake

  Yes! I know the announce will be the same either DA or DF, but part of my goal is to "gave real basis" to gossip, I'm done with the whole thing, the only thing that remains to be decided is to be present or not for the announcement (in the case I decide to be present I'll take it with a big smile :) )
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  14

  DA: Today I used my typewriter and fountain pen

  by Mandrake in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last week my mother (i live with her) gave me some clues that she finally awoke, and well, that came to be true and we now speak openly against many many things i considered taboo to talk to her.

  so with that achieved, it was time for a delayed duty, i took my typewriter one wrote my da letter, and signed it with my favorite fountain pen, with my "trade mark" royal blue ink (everyone in the hall knew me for using that color and type of pen).

  i will hand it to the elders tomorrow, in february 14th, the "day of love".

  1. 
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• 

  Mandrake

  Last week my mother (I live with her) gave me some clues that she finally awoke, and well, that came to be true and we now speak openly against many many things I considered taboo to talk to her. So with that achieved, it was time for a delayed duty, I took my typewriter one wrote my DA letter, and signed it with my favorite fountain pen, with my "trade mark" royal blue ink (everyone in the hall knew me for using that color and type of pen). I will hand it to the elders tomorrow, in February 14th, the "day of love". The final decision to effectively write it was taken in part (I decided it long ago) because an old friend told me about the rumours of me being disfellowshipped in my first congregation (not the same as the last), I'm only being inactive, so I had to clean my name, not from gossip, I need to clean my name from "their" name, I will be officially out by tomorrow...!!!
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  6

  The 19th Wife

  by StarTrekAngel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i just started reading this book.

  wife and i were at the local library a few weeks ago and she pulled it out of a shelf, almost by chance it was this book about mormons.

  she did not read it much but said that it looks like a good read.

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  Mandrake

  Polygamy is outdated, new light is "overlapping marriages"... If you don't believe me ask my father... (Hate him, in a deep, calm way, I think that is the worst way of hating someone...)
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  16

  a more appropriate logo instead of JW.org, drawn by my brother who is Still a witness, but weary of some things.

  by foreverfreenow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  Mandrake

  O I think there's a chance, not so small, that he found this hanged on internet... What do you think?