Posts by paradisebeauty

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

@ FayeDunaway,

I would love to be your friend in real life, too, but I live far away - as in central europe. But feel free to pm me any time. I would be happy to talk to you.

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

Thank you Listener for sharing your story and for support.

This forum and being able to talk to people in similar situations has been really helpful.

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

I wanted to tell everyone who said that they prayed to God and asked for an answer, that the answer can be a new thought that comes into your mind. A simple clarifying thought, a new understanding or a feeling of confidence in something you believe, those are answers from God.

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

@ JamesThomas,

It is interesting that you talk about a story, was wondering if you read anything by Debbie Ford, I know she has some interesting books on psychology, - I've been planning to read a particular book by her, but did not find the time, yet.

I am a person who believes that God exists, that he cares for us and that he gave Jesus as our savior. And I believe the Bible is the word of God.

I believed these things before my encounter with jw's. I believed them even if my parents were not religious. I found a bible when I was a kid and starting reading it, and listened very closely whenever people were saying something of God.

My believe in God has little to do with the jw's, I think on the contrary, they made me feel further away from God.

My awakening is about the fact that they are not the representatives of God, and some (or most) of their doctrines are not supported by the Bible. And their spirit is Pharisaic. Their spirit and attitude has so much more to do with the pharisees in the Bible than with Jesus. How did I not see this earlier? I actually saw it ... but have no idea what I was thinking or hoping ...

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

Hi LSH123,

I am so glad you wrote.

I am also in doubts with most of the doctrines you wrote about. And the thought that all people who are not jw will be destroyed, bothers me, too. There is no way God can think like that.

I think the advice people give here, to take it slow and not let elders or people in cong know yet, is very good.

We need to research and by ourselves the truth about what the Bible truly says. Until now, we've been mostly indoctrinated to believe laws and ideas of men...

Take care of yourself and feel free to pm me any time :)

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

@ FayeDunaway

I was a witness for 12 years and some years before I went on and off with studying with them.

I met a lot of jw's but I am not sure I could say about any of them that they are my really true best friend forever, they are more like acquaintances ... most of them look for you when they need something ...

It's not so much about friends, but I think I would need to go to religious meetings from time to time, plus being present at the commemoration of Jesus and being allowed to take part without others thinking you went nuts ...

I like the way they did it in this church, except the cross, everything happened according to the Bible. But don't know if they always keep it on 14th nissan, or it was just this year because it happened to be on a Friday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iruN1ZD6F5w

I am glad you found a group of Christians to meet with. I hope I will, too.

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

@ Phizzy, John Aquilla, freemindfade, Oubliette, clarity, DJS, LostGeneration,

Thank you all for the advice and encouragement,

I will have to learn to shut up ... it's gonna be difficult because I hate to fake and pretend ... but I am aware I need to keep things a secret for know as I am not emotionally ready for what it is going to happen ...

I am so glad we can talk through this forum!

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

@ Magnum

I believe there are answers - I hope!

It's just that they are not in an organization, they are in a personal relationship with God and Jesus. I believe Jesus is the only mediator between God and human being. We need nobody else, an certainly.

I decided to study the new testament by myself, there are different translations of the Bible available.

I am also thinking of going to other christian's groups meetings but I'll have to do this discreetly, at least in the beginning, until I am ready to come out with what I believe now ...

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

@ oppostate

I feel the same way about this:

I came to understand that no organization can lay claim to being God's representative on Earth, nor his "Channel".

and I believe to claim this is the true "brazen conduct" in front of God

I also feel like the years in this org made me feel separated from other people, from humanity. I need to get to know people who are outside of this org.

I am thinking of the 12 years in this org as being just a step in my search for God. But I like the way you named your moment of awakening: "epiphany" - I might borrow that.

48

The shift: from follower to wanting to leave

by paradisebeauty in

this week has been the week when my whole way of thinking shifted.

i still cannot believe how this can happen so fast.

over a period of seven days i went from not even imagining that i could ever not be a witness to wanting to get out of this organisation.. .

paradisebeauty

Thank you for the support, talesin.

It crossed my mind to just call two elders and tell them everything I believe, but I also realize I am too overwhelmed right know, I could not face very well going through discussions with them and sensing / knowing other members of cong speak behind my back that I became an apostate ... probably not just members of my cong, but all other witnesses in town.

I live in a town where most witnesses were brought up in families of witnesses. I became a witness after big problems with my family and most witnesses in my town know my story ...

Plus, the explanations and reasoning with friends ... too much to bear right now.