I don't think your being mean at all BU2B, I would be exactly the same way if it was my parents. You make your own bed at the end of the day....
As for you dad being an elder I think he should be setting an example for the congregation and if he can't support himself and your mum he is failing to live by bible standards. It is def worth going to someone about it and explaining exactly whats going on. If it backfires in some way then at least you tried and it show's up the whole body of elders in the end for being craven and not being scriptual or following bible counsel.
Another thought I had was with regards to the unemployment benefits they are receiving. I'm not sure how it works in America but here in the UK if you turn down a job in your chosen field of work or after a certain period of unemployment ANY job offer your benefit will be cut off. I know it's very underhand but could you let them know your dad has been turning down excellent job offers in his line of work? Just an idea, it's prob a different system altogether where you are but thought I would just mention it.