How many here believed, down deep in your heart that the end would come in 1975?
I did. Those were terrible years leading up to and following 1975.
I left the JWs in summer of '71. I turned 14 years old in the fall of '71. I had already figured out that I wouldn't live much past my 17th birthday so I figured I must as well live life to the fullest I was able to and I didn't want to die a virgin! lol!
So, I became pregnant in the spring of '73 and I spent my pregnancy in fear, lots and lots of fear - that my baby would be killed by Jehovah.
My baby was born in early 1974 when I was sixteen. I truly believed that neither him or I would survive for more than a year or two. Those years that followed were pure hell, but I knew one thing for certain - I didn't want to die as a JW. I hated being a JW for many reasons. Those reasons don't really matter but what did matter was that I had no point of reference in which to debunk the propaganda that I had been fed since I was born.
The threat of eternal damnation was ALWAYS in the back of my mind....every minute of every day and in my nightmares at night. I spent the next several years just hanging on to the hope that maybe, just maybe...the JWs were wrong about the end of the world in 1975 but it would take several more years before I was able to deprogram that erroneous teaching.
It wasn't until I landed in a drug and alcohol rehab when I was 27 (yay! I had made it ten years past the date I thought I would be dead...and my baby was already almost a teenager) that I was forced to confront the demons that had stuck a paper bag over my head and pushed me to the edge of the cliff.
That was in the days before the internet. I give thanks to Gary and Heather Botting for their book "The Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses" and to James Penton for his book "Apocalypse Delayed". Penton's book was my "bible" for many years. I can still remember the minute of the day that everything clicked and I knew for certain that the JWs were wrong, horribly wrong. I will never forget that moment.
I was by myself, driving down the highway and all of a sudden, it was like I had driven into another dimension...it was almost like a brilliant flash, and the world looked bright, clean and REAL for the first time in my life. I cried and laughed at the same time and finally, finally I was able to say, and I said it out loud "I am part of this world! I AM wordly!"
And I still am. 40 years later, I am still here. And so is my son.
Fuck the Watchtower Society. Kiss my ass you bastards. I am worldly and proud of it.