This is a double standard for them as when they are studying with you they will tell you it is OK to questions everything and examine your beliefs but they don't tell you that is not allowed once your in.
So true. I was declared to be a fantastic study who asked loads of good questions and really checked everything.
When I look back - I just didn't ask the right questions.
I remember challenging the beard issue - somehow it got lost in the powerful 1914 equation which was embedded in famous quotes from historians about the new era following the breakout of WW1... So I let it go.... Somehow my instinct got submerged.
Working in the corporate world, I kind of got that beards were perhaps suspect.
How stupid. So dressing up like one of the mafia in a smart suit, tie and shirt or a money making business man is more Christlike than wearing a soft beard and a polar fleece?
I like suits. But really, how does a suit or beardless face reflect a more obedient Christlike manner?
Crooks wear suits. Clean shaven politicians where suits. Nice ordinary people where suits.
I remember how new "studies" would be observed.... How pleased everyone was when a new guy would come to the meeting in a suit and tie after wearing casual clothes.
The first step on the ladder.
I confess to loving the congregational approval as I "grasped" deeper spiritual truths.
Truths that are now old hat. Discarded. And I prayed in gratitude for being given 'insight'.
In the end, after 20 odd years, my conscience and dignity were being trodden down by men who couldn't care less about me or mine.
I'll never forget the day an elder gave the prayer after our Sunday meeting.
"Thank you Jehovah for all the new truths you have given us over the years".
It made no sense. And I couldn't imagine teaching others this.