Hi - I have t yet read through this entire thread - just a message here of support.
Given all your circumstances - what harm could come from meeting, keeping it very low key and just being friendly.
If they probe regarding your current thoughts on whether 'this is the truth' - I'd suggest something along the lines of 'being a little discouraged by a few things, but just wanting to quietly settle your heart' ....thanking them for their care and patience.
My observation ( which could be wrong) is that this is a global pattern, husbands or wives of ''in good standing' and respected spouses/families are not showing up anymore....I'd suggest there will be a growing trend to avoid the scandal of big blow ups in congregations.
Im thinking how lostwun has been left well alone, even though her current beliefs have been gossiped about and are known in her JW community.....
I'd suggest that unless you plan on being an active militant - just keep cool, say little and maintain a warm and pleasant, non threatening status.
If you feel strong enough, I'd let them visit - but take control by being very welcoming, very friendly ( and why not) hospitable and gentle -if you can gather up your ful stature as a thoughtful, kind and secure human being - then do it. Easier said than done when all sorts of pressures around you - I have no witness family, so it's different, apologies if my take doesn't fit your situation .....(((((( hugs )))))
'Edit' - just read the bit where if they threaten d/f you'll raise hell and sue - LOL! Great you don't feel intimidated :-)