Hi, Josh
Read your story. I'm very sorry that that had to happen to you. I understand you were attracted to men and a very early age, and of course the sexual desire grew as you went through your teenage years. And It no doubt caused lots of guilt and physical pain (like your story says) to deal with it, knowing that it is a sin against God to be homosexual. What a battle indeed!! Do you do what you desire or do you do what God desires?? That is the question that we all face! For some like you, it's sexual desires (rather Homo or Hetero), physical desires, like over or undereating, taking drugs, using acholhol, smoking cigarettes, or it's personal desires like pursing a career. Whatever it is, it definatley goes against the grain. We struggle everyday to not feed our inner desires, but to pray and make constant supplication that God will see us through. The battle is the same. Adam and Eve choose to disobey God and do what they desired, look at the consequences!!!
I am a single mother (25 yrs. old) of a 5 yr old daughter. I have sexual desires also, and sometimes I do get lonley. But I try and overcome my storng desires but praying to Jehovah, and involving myself in Christian activities. It does help!! There are time when I'm at work and I become very attracted to one of my co-workers (Most of my co-worker are men) and I develop cruches and strong sexual desires for them, some have even asked me out and I tell you I,ve been so tempted to just do it. BUt I remember that I shouldn't date someone not in Jehovah's organiztion because of the consequences. When it comes right down to it, I really have nothing in common with them, but sexual attraction. How do I cope? Just like I said busy yourself in Jehovahs work and he will keep you safe from calamity. Remember his laws are a protection not a burden. I chose not to date, to serve Jehovah. You can choose not to date also, but you choose to go against his law of Homosexuality. That was your choice. You can't say that the JW organization is resposible, because every religion has that law because it CLEARLY states it the bible against it, and not just to exclude homosexuals, it also clearly states fornacation as equally sinful. But these laws are for our benefit. I hope you understand that Jehovah is a loving God. But the choice is yours to make, but don't blame God for your own choices!
Love,
SUEY