Lynnie you are in a great position to remind the congregation, your loving mother and cousin's that you are to be treated as if you were dead to them. This is how they have treated you for the past 35+ years. This is no longer your responsibility. They made their choice now they have to live with it.
This sounds harsh but what goes around comes around. I would make sure they ALL know how you feel and that their behavior is DISGUSTING.
I am sorry that your family has treated you unkind. No one deserves the shunning. The best revenge is a happy and successful life.