They would counsel you:
Go to more meetings, go out in field serve us more, volunteer more, be a part of the Congregation. Do more, do more, do more. So doing more is the answer. I know when I have lots of disturbing thoughts, I do more. Yeah...like doing more is going to make those thoughts go away. It is not.
My best advise to you is get the hell out of there. This is NOT Gods organization. Watch Mays TV broadcast. If that doesn't do it, nothing will.
These Elders ARE NOT your friends and shepherds. If you mention that you are having doubts it will put you on their radar. They will do what they call "mark you." Seen it before! Trust no one!