I'm very sorry for your loss. And while I don't know you personally, I know the feeling of losing someone to this inhumane doctrinal interpretation.
If I hear one more person say "she is alive in Jehovah's memory" I am going to punch someone.
I commend you for keeping your cool with these moronic and blind members. God knows how you managed to stay controlled. I don't know that I could have kept my cool in similar circumstances.
Take care of yourself and PM if you ever need an ear or just vent. Take care friend.