Hold on if you can. Have no qualms about faking it until you reach legal age if you can, JWs have no problem swallowing BS every day and they would cut you off at every turn to prevent you from thriving on the outside. I ran away at 17 because I couldn't take it anymore, and basically jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Unfortunately being cut off from the world means not knowing about stuff other people take for granted, like Pell grants, or career counselors at the local community college that can help you navigate the world as a young adult. If you are in the US, there are programs to help young adults get money for school and you can explain that your parents will cut you off so they don't try to use their income. It sucks to do the time when you want out, but a little patience can keep you from falling on your face as soon as you get out.
LuckyNun
JoinedPosts by LuckyNun
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73
Im sick of my life
by BlackWolf insorry but i really feel like i need to rant right now.
recently my dad was made an elder so my family has been doing a lot more "theocratic" activities lately.
every morning i wake up and put on my itchy dress and stupid makeup and heels and then pretend that i love what i'm doing and that everybody is my friend when in reality i feel horrible and all the other teenage girls at my hall hate me for some reason.
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If YOU had to make the decision, would you respect a JW relatives wish to refuse a blood transfusion?
by nicolaou ina few years after i quit the meetings my mum needed her medical directive signed and witnessed and she asked if i'd do it.
i was surprised to say the least!.
i think she was just angling to include me and maybe find some lever to get me involved again.
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LuckyNun
Yes, I would respect their wishes. Which is more than they'd do for me. -
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disgusted with their smugness
by LuckyNun ina few people from my jw past recently friended me on facebook and i accepted.
it was all good and we sent a few catching-up messages back and forth.
then i started seeing their newsfeed posts and it was just a bunch of memorial invite spam and nature photos with smug comments on how the chosen ones had paradise to look forward to.
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LuckyNun
A few people from my JW past recently friended me on facebook and I accepted. I should have known better. It was all good and we sent a few catching-up messages back and forth. Then I started seeing their newsfeed posts and it was just a bunch of memorial invite spam and nature photos with smug comments on how the chosen ones had Paradise to look forward to. "oh my word, totally living there in the new system!!!11"
The last straw was a link to this: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialRightWingNews/photos/a.401034789956656.90394.389658314427637/694001510659981/?type=1
with a bunch of likes from all the judgey assholes I left behind, including my mother who still lives with the man who sexually and physically abused her children. It was in reference to marriage equality. I should have known better. I unfriended everybody, blocked my mother, and honestly feel like making my fb page a sea of rainbows and silentlambs.org links. -
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What are your experiences having Jehovah Witnesses work for you or you work with?
by adjusted knowledge ini've managed several thousand employees in the last decade.
i've had a handful that identified themselves as witnesses.
from experience, they were no different than any other employees.
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LuckyNun
I work with an active JW. It seems I can't get away from them, have had one at every job...one day after just starting my current job I was regaling my co-workers with a crazy JW-belief story from my past and another co-worker walked in and said, "Actually I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses." I was like, "Cool," and went on to finish the story and the conversation drifted to something else. Then she found me in the locker room later and we started talking JW lingo, you know how it goes, all the secret words and nods (troof, Muff-n-Egg, "out in service", etc).
Finally, she asked me if I'd ever been baptized. I said, "No worries, I was never baptized or anything. I was raised in it and left for several different reasons. Your mileage may vary. I hope you don't get weirded out. I tell funny stories about it because it was a really awful time for me and it's how I deal with it." And she said no, that she was glad I was there because I would understand why she wouldn't or couldn't do stuff, and said in a way we were still sisters and gave me a hug.
I feel so sorry for this lady. She's a hard worker and all, but she walks around with the weight of the Society on her shoulders. The poor woman is so anxious, depressed, and literally flinches when she thinks she's getting chewed out. MEEK. Oh, lord. And she feels she has to provide rationalizations for ANY bit of fun. I don't miss that, hell I never did that...which is why I left.
For example: Today, we got to see President Obama speak at our work place. To my surprise o_0, she had also snagged a ticket and was there, and we stood talking for a while. Of course, the orderliness of JWs at conventions came up, LOL. So we threw some JW-slang around for a while, then she started to apologize for being there and I said, "Hey, no worries. This is a historical event," and casually changed the subject. Oy. I feel so free and easy at times like this.
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RELIGION AND MENTAL ILLNESS!!!
by ADJUSTMENTS ini have have come to realize most "rank and file" jw's are mentally unstable-to-ill and here is why.... http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/mental-issues.php.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/religious_delusion.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/religion_and_schizophrenia.
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LuckyNun
Of course. The mental energy required to wrap your head around bushel baskets of new light while simultaneously being the best JDub ever-- that doesn't leave a lot of mental energy left for emotional processing, emotional regulation, or critical thinking. And don't get me started on teaching people to actively believe in angels and demons...
Depression while being a JW is a sign that your brain is fed up with constructing an alternate reality.
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LuckyNun is back
by LuckyNun inlong time no see.. so, since i last posted on here, jws drove my sister to attempt suicide again (she failed, but it was close) and drove my close childhood friend to actually commit suicide.
i too kmy sister in and helped her recover.
i think she's going to pull through.
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LuckyNun
The last time I talked to her was 2008/9. Calling the police won't help the neighbor girls now. As for our childhoods, it's a weird thing about statute of limitations in Illinois: you only have so many years after hitting the age of majority to make your claim. After that, there's nothing you can do. I learned this the hard way. By the time I'd gathered up my courage and went to the police, I'd missed the deadline by a matter of months.
Leota died of an overdose in December of 2010. If I could go back in time...well, I'd go back to the summer of 1993 and fight like hell so maybe there wouldn't have been a funeral in 2010. As it was, my friend Roxanne (never baptized) went to the visitation and took pictures for me.
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LuckyNun is back
by LuckyNun inlong time no see.. so, since i last posted on here, jws drove my sister to attempt suicide again (she failed, but it was close) and drove my close childhood friend to actually commit suicide.
i too kmy sister in and helped her recover.
i think she's going to pull through.
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LuckyNun
Hi everybody!! Long time no see.
So, since I last posted on here, JWs drove my sister to attempt suicide again (she failed, but it was close) and drove my close childhood friend to actually commit suicide. I too kmy sister in and helped her recover. I think she's going to pull through. As for my friend Leota, well, I was afraid to go to her funeral because I feared I might not be let in the door. This past summer, I got to go back to Illinois and visit her grave. I bawled and sat there. She's not in torment any more, but her son is being raised by the same parents who tried to emotionally destroy her (and I guess they succeeded).
My child-molesting/abusing parents recently celebrated "40 years of love and faith" and were lauded appropriately, according to my mother's Facebook page. So many people (including a few who knew why my dad was originally disfellowshipped) chimed in with praise and words of encouragement. I can only guess that there's been a nearly 90% turnover in the Belvidere congregation. That, or JWs really don't give a rat's ass if you let your daughters be "second wifey". I didn't recognize most of the names. We don't personally speak any more, as the last time I talked to her on the phone, she mentioned how nice it was that two little neighbor girls were coming over to play with my old toys all the time. This sent a bolt of ice through my heart. I hung up and considered calling the police, but I didn't even know where to begin. I felt helpless and disgusting. I hope nothing has happened to those little girls at my dad's hands.
While in school, I also did some intensive PTSD-focused therapy at the school's psychology clinic. It helped me a great deal, and now I'm using those skills I learned to volunteer with a homeless shelter and a rape crisis center. My plan is to take every bad memory and put it to work as a tool to help others. I won't let those fuckers win.
How's everybody?
Tanya
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Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Wisconsin and Midwest
by Watchtower-Free inso who's from wisconsin and the midwest usa.
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LuckyNun
Born and raised in the Belvidere/Rockford area. Went to Janesville and Chicago for assemblies.
As an aside...I haven't been on here in a while, I went back to school in 2010 and knocked out that college degree this past December, finally! To celebrate, I took my husband to Chicago for a long weekend (we currently live near Kansas City...in a "dark spiritual area" according to Our Fair Governor Brownback). On the way home, we took the back roads and drove through Dekalb early in the morning. I saw the signs for the convention that weekend and was laughing to Nick about how my parents were probably speeding to get good seats and then I looked back at the road AS MY PARENTS DROVE BY IN THEIR GREEN MINIVAN!! I sincerely hope they did a double-take in the rearview mirror and saw the rainbow bumper sticker that supports THE GAYS.
Anyway, I'm super jazzed to be back, and hope some of you recognize me from way back when...so much has happened since then.
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Best Music Concert you Attended - Favorite Live Musicians ?
by flipper insince spring weather is upon us - thought those of us that enjoy live music may have fun with this one !.
my favorite live musicians i have seen are follows :.
and which show or group was your favorite ?
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LuckyNun
I DID have a very interesting experience while at big shows, first happened at a Pearl Jam show back in the mid-nineties. That incredible feeling of absolute happiness. Like the music itself was filling something empty inside me. I suddenly understood what people meant by "being filled with the spirit". I saw how you could get a crazy rush from being part of a large group where everyone was there for the same reason and there was nothing but good vibes all around!
That's when I decided that music would be the closest I could ever get to having a religious experience. Concerts are my church services, as far as I'm concerned.
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Why do so many Xjw's not end up in some sort of trouble?
by AK - Jeff inmy observation has been the opposite of agb's in this regard.
i have known of precisely 0 who have turned to gangs/drugs/prostitution after abandonning the lies known as jehovah's witnesses.
most seem to lead lives of quiet hope outside the mainstream religious community once they leave - but far from dangerous lives [even from the jw perspective].. just thought counter-point might be fairplay here.. do xjw's live like jw's?
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LuckyNun
it's always fun to catch up with someone from your old congregation who either will talk to you or just recently got out. that's how I learned all the juicy gossip about my so-called life.
but there is one thing that rang true for me in Kyria's book: I really lost my moral compass and ended up making a lot of mistakes from age 17-23 because I was so naive and so brainwashed. when everything you've known gets turned upside-down and you have nobody who understands and can help you through it, it's hard to know what's really bad and what was just JW-bad. the trust issues alone are worth years of therapy. the relief a person feels after shrugging off the terrible burden of being a JW is worth it, though.
I did end up dating a few losers and thought I didn't deserve better, and both my kids were unplanned and raised by just me after breaking up with their repective dads, but after I learned all my life lessons and got my street smarts, I did okay. I love my life, and I bet a few of the people I was told to cluck over loved their lives too and weren't miserable as people said.