But her father is giving a home and money to her sister younger who does not work at all.
My M-I-L is on her way to a similar shape as yours. Recently during a visit we had found that she has defecated on herself uncontrollably. She was trying to get herself cleaned up when we arrived. We are hoping that this is an aberation or a symptom of her having an upset stomach which is what she implied it was. She still imagines herself to be totally independent but the reality is she is totally dependent upon my wife's nearly every other day 60 mile round trip visits. Only time will tell.
I know some may think of me as being an ass for saying but, I knew that my wife taking charge her mother's affairs and elderly care would represent a major shift in our lifestyle as empty nester's and I insisted that she have her end of life paperwork in order to reflect the fact of said shift. She doesn't really have much, but, I was not interested in having our lives put on hold and then her brothers and sisters who, except when they need some financial support from her, have nothing to do with helping her swooping in and wanting to run things in the event of her death.