I am so sorry. Most of us here know the utter frustration of it all...and the simplicity of the "truth" as it is. Just don't feel alone.
I drove 400 miles one night and left 3 inches of paperwork about everything from the UN to the blood, etc. on my dad's and brother's windshields. They are ones to investigate and research...I thought. I got a letter saying not ever to contact them again. They would "know" when I was straightened out and contact me. To make it worse, my father molested me while an elder and I have taken him to court. Now THEY are too good to deal with me.
Just know we are here. You have come a long way and you may be their only chance to get out. Living well is the best way to speak without a voice.