Dont sweat the venting, a lot of us have been there. Marriage in jw land is a trap. If its bad your left with zero options, in their eyes, except to cheat and seek a divorce. Its crazy.
Try to take a step back and give yourself room. You can absolutely divorce and be ok in your own eyes, when your ready. You dont have to decide anything today. Breath easy and take in a little freedom, try to see things objectivly and reach out to us here. Many will be happy to talk and listen. Your not the first or last to go through this and get some needed support :)