Snuggle, i had an uncomfortable experience but in the reverse, that haunts me to this day.
First, no one need cry tears for me, i was an elder by choice and have no one to point fingers at.
That said, when i was just begining to realize the truth about the truth, a young woman cheated on her husband. They were married far too young and things had no gone especially well for them. She confessed and a jc was formed. I was asked to be on it. We invited him, of course.
Things were uncomfortable, to say the least, from the start. Then one of the men on the jc asked a fairly innoncent question as to where the event had occured, meaning the physical location (i.e. house, car, the woods etc etc). Before anyone, including her husband, could react the young wife began to launch into graphic detail as to “how” the infidelity had occured. Her husband tried to stop her. We tried to stop her. She kept going, apparently having worried that she was going be forced to reveal every graphic detail and wanted to get it over with.
It took almost 30 seconds to get her to stop but the damage was done. The husband was devastated. Apparently he had not inquired as to specifics and heard them for the first time. I front of three other men.
When we got her to stop she was in tears and he was visibly hurt. The three of us on the jc were shaken as we had all agreeded in advance to stay away from any specifics as they simply weren't necessary or appropriate. We all felt dirty and not just a little slimy for having been a part of that.
The young couple never recovered, in no small part because the husband could never look at his wife the same way after the details of her liaison were blurted out in front of other people (men he looked up to, rightly or wrongly).
I still feel slimy. Im no prude. I have a very active sexual life and feel free to talk about sex with anyone who wants to.. i have plenty of sexual proclivities that some would think extreme and i couldnt give a damn. Im totally comfortable with sex as a topic... when its a consensual conversation and all parties are willing. This wasnt willing. She felt forced to share ugly details of an affair and her husband was shamed as other men listened (again, not our intent and we literally MADE her stop).
I never sat on an adultry situation again. It was a wake up call as to just how invasive the jc was and caused a lot of internal termoil for me about the morality of jc’s.
Honestly, sharing this is more confessional for me than any idea that it might help someone else. Im really ashamed to have been a part of that, as unintentional as hearing those things may have been. The jc is no more than a shamming device to keep people in line for the cult. Nobody should ever stand in front of one.