Kate I'm sure most jihadis have families. Kiss there kids at night, tuck them in, read to them. Enjoy meals with friends and family. Want what they believe is best for those they care about.
Some Muslims believe jihad is an inner struggle. I respect jihadis to much as people to respect their beliefs. A belief system and an individual are 2 different things. There are varying belief systems and they all have consequences. Some of them more severe than others and deserving a response in kind.