I was once that person who shunned. I am also guilty for inflicting it upon others when an Elder. I feel for my family and friends. They are captives of a concept.
All I know for certain is what is here and now. My children are only young once. When they are grown it's over. When my nieces, nephews, and friends children are grown I will never get back the time when we could have enriched each others lives. This is one of the many reasons I mourn the shunning policy. Life is precious and short, and we waste so much time with nonsense that it's depressing.