Sorry, but this is a topic on which I just have to vent some steam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, I have been upset and quite bitter (and I don't like being negative as a rule)! I had the opportunity for a scholarship (at least a partial one) and I had to give up my dreams ... because it "might stumble" someone. It was in 1981 and they were getting a bit more lenient regarding education....more for like trade schools, rather than 4-yr colleges. BUT, my parents had always been proud of my grades and let me take the college entrance tests and all, but really didn't want me to go to college. I told them that if nothing else it would help me know where I stood with my peers, etc. (secretly then hoping that they'd see the good scores and agree to me going to school).
Well, I scored great and I started to have scholarship opportunities pop up and I had all but gently worked on my parents to give in and let me go when another elder heard I took the tests and caused a big ruckus. My dad was the P.O. and this elder had a fit that he'd allow me to take the tests, since going to college was out of the question and not a spiritual goal...blah, blah, blah. So, needless to day, to avoid 'reproach' my plans were totally squashed.
But you want to know what pisses me off the MOST about it all.......that very same elder ended up sending all his three kids to college (not all graduated) within the next couple of years. His excuses??? Son: "He wants to go to Bethel, so it would be helpful to the Borg if he had a good education" (son IS at Patterson now) Daughter#2: "She has had (behavioral) problems and I think keeping her in an educational setting would be good." Daughter#1: "She is going to be an old maid, so she needs to be able to support her self and needs a good education to do that."
THAT IS WHAT MADE ME EVEN MORE PISSED! It was a sin for me to go, yet it was "beneficial" for his children to go. Yes, I am bitter....in case you haven't noticed.
My father is now 80 and his mind is going...my mother KNOWS to not bring this subject up, as it gets me angry. One day my dad was showing me a picture a brother in their Hall had drawn and he was so proudly saying that this brother was going on to Art School and even got scholarship offers, etc. My blood was boiling, as my artwork in school was much better that his AND one of my scholarship opportunities that I had to give up was to The School of the Art Institute of Chicago! My mother notices the pain and anger in my face and changed the subject. (I can't be angry directly at him, because he is not really mentally 'here' all the time--otherwise I may have really gone off at him for being so proud of something that he forbid me to do myself).
I have been fortunate in my employment through the years, in that I have worked up to positions that usually require a mandantory degree. I've had good employers who have overlooked by lack of a degree and appreciated my hard work and knowledge. I haven't given up totally on college, but I just haven't been able to do it yet, due to various life circumstances. helped me get the 'on the job' experience. But, I have still been angry and bitter.....my boyfriend says I need to make it a goal in my life to go back to school....I have always kept that goal and someday I hope to acheive it......I may be in an old age home when I do it, but I want to do it!
