As we are all trying to make sense of our life experiences, we all run the risk of of doing and saying things we look back and would change, especially with the hurt/anger/disappointment etc., from false hope and misplaced trust and wanting to liberate others from same. No need to apologize. The old motto - hindsight is 20/20. For me to judge you would be hypocritical. Good man for seeing yourself as you are and would like to be and making the appropriate changes.
It is encouraging you have reached a place of understanding what is most important to you. Hurray and very happy things are getting better in your family and life. Happy Shadows; nice knowing friends that have my back.
Best Wishes!