Posts by Wallflower

84

Awake!: Caption Time!

by Stephanus in

jw
friends

here's a typical awake!

cover showing the sorts of problems we have that won't be solved until 99.999% of the population die at armageddon:.

here's the cover with the text editted out to help you in your captioning quest:.

the evil empire strikes again

by Azalo in

jw
friends

Wallflower

I was going to register a web address for my pet, Yamyam. He is a very stupid jackdaw, but I don't think I will now. It was going to be called www.mycrowssaft.com. Never mind.

28

THE WORLD HAS ENDED % Watch Tower 1930

by garybuss in

here's a blast from the past.. *******************************.

the watch tower herald of christ's presence.

sept 1 1930 p. 2. .

"Well sportsfans, we are deep into extra time, full time having been and gone in 1930, in this classic fixture between Jehovahs Witnesses FC and Satan & his Minions Utd. The referee, Mr G Body, has raised the whistle to his lips on a number of occasions, most recently in 1975 and all the JW team players moved towards the dressing room, but the whistle was never blown and some of the players actually switched sides. Amazing. Play still goes on.

"The latest news we have is that this may indeed not be extra time, but half way through the second half, well one of the two halves anyway. If this was to end now the score would be 6,393,593,837 Satans team and to Jehovah, a little over 6,000,000. A complete whitewashing of the JW team.

"We, here in the commentary box feel this will go on and on but could end in any number of ways a) all the JW team switch to Satans team b) they all die (resurrections don't count in this game), or c) the funding for JWFC dries up.

Wallflower & his microphone

classic thread Gary

15

322 million cells in a quart

by Satanus in

322 million dead white blood cells in a quart of cow's milk.

what is a poor loaded down apostolic governing body law abiding jw to do?

drink beer?

Wallflower

What about breast feeding? I presume that white blood cells are in human breast milk, just the same, to help give the new born some defence against infection. Could be cause for concern. Parents, you'd better pop off down to the local store and get some that powered stuff to be on the safe side.

150

The dubs at "Witness World" are discussing UN involvement!!!!!

by somebodylovesme in

i am a lurker on the "witness world" witnesses-only website.

they are having a discussion because someone during door-to-door service confronted them with the un letter.

they are all saying that it is "obviously made up"... but the person is planning on writing to the society to ask.

Wallflower

They made a mistake and fixed it once it was discovered. Bad judgement call on the part of someone at the Society... hey, it happens.

Hold on, is this the mouthpiece of Jehovah who made the mistake and used bad judgement? They went to the "scarlet coloured wild beast" and wanted to join the club for a library ticket? It's laughable.

13

JWS ADVERTISE IN NY TIMES!

by badboy in

jw
friends

i understand that the jws advertised(at least at 1 sta)ge in the ny times, what was that all about!

Wallflower

Did they do a typo on Mr Swingle's name - shouldn't it have been Mr Swindle? :)

5

Chicken Gun

by dh in

sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!!

(true story)

scientists at roll royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity.

Wallflower

I know for a fact that this done. My wife ran a copy shop here in Birmingham, England. A guy came in an asked her to copy some photos of aircraft windshields which had been hit with rocket fired chickens (dead ones). He worked at Triplex, here in Birmingham. They are better known for the toughened glass in cars.

I wonder if the launcher was battery operated ? Sorry, it was the best I could do this time of night. :)

20

Boys Gets Stuck In Animal Game Machine

by DevonMcBride in

boy gets stuck in animal game machine

sheboygan, wis. (jan. 5) - a 7-year-old boy had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith saturday after crawling into a supermarket's stuffed animal game machine while his father talked on the telephone.jeffrey roland debbink.

"he was sitting right in there with the stuffed animals," said shift commander mark zittel of the sheboygan fire department.. he said the boy, whose name was not released because he is a minor, crawled through about an 8-inch-by-10-inch opening to get into the glass enclosure via a chute where the toys come out, but when he tried to get back out his way was blocked.. the stuffed animals are prizes that can be hooked by players with a crane-like device.. "his dad was three feet away at a pay phone," zittel said.