Nice try XJW_B12
Here's a pic of one of my 4 islands
Puternut
JoinedPosts by Puternut
-
26
What kind of house do you live in?
by Strawberryfieldsforever ini live in a new england style house (salt box) with wood siding.
i have a great room with 3 skylights 4x4 and a balcony over looking the livingroom.
what kind of house do you guys live in?
-
-
-
130
What does your user name here mean?
by LyinEyes ini don't know what eles to call it , i guess it is the user name....lol.......so what does yours mean?.
i think awhile back i might have asked this,,,,,,,but it was way back and so many new ones here that i am just getting to know, and ones who came in here while i was not here as much.
there may be a thread on this in the last recent months, i am not sure,,,,if so, if there are any new ones who want to tell why they choose their user names,,,,,please do.. i will tell you why my name is lyineyes,,,,,many have asked me that here lately.
-
-
Puternut
I like to play computer games. I like the simulators.
I also know enough about computers to get myself in trouble, and have to stay up all night to fix my own problems. I drive myself nuts sometimes...
-
21
In Support of Shotgun
by imallgrowedup inhey shotgun - .
just a quick note to let you know that i (and others) am/are thinking of you today and hoping that 'the meeting' with elders a and b was not too traumatic last night.
i know you said you'd post the transcript - and there is no rush - just wanted to let you know i (we) am/are thinking of you and sending warm thoughts of support your way.
-
-
Puternut
Shotgun,
You're a good person. You will find the right things to say. My thoughts are with you. It will all work out for the best.
Puternut
-
34
A flood of emotions
by onacruse inthis has been a very hard month for me.. 18th anniversary of my brother's death;.
meeting (after a 15-year hiatus) a long-time jw friend, in dire straights, and lots of deep-seated triggers being pulled in the course our conversation;.
my closest, and longest (30-year and running) "worldly" .
-
-
Puternut
My deepest empathies are with you Craig. I hope you can get through this time.
May be it's time to go-on-a-cruise?
Puternut
-
52
Emotional Day
by Puternut ini am having one of those days.
it all started yesterday when i was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby.
when i walked in the store, the nora jones cd was playing and i became emotional.
-
-
Puternut
Thanks you beautiful people and dear friends for all the comments.
I just talked online with some very special people this evening from the board in a MSN chat. It was very nice to hear all the support and care. We laughed and cried and vented, and we're all family. We all have our days and we need to support each other. This is THE place to make new friends and family.
Good nite, may peace be in your hearts..................
Puternut
-
52
Emotional Day
by Puternut ini am having one of those days.
it all started yesterday when i was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby.
when i walked in the store, the nora jones cd was playing and i became emotional.
-
-
Puternut
MSN party sounds great. I'll be on around 7:00 PST. I am staying home and will be drinking some good Merlot. Anyone who wants to join, PM me.
Thanks for all the support. It's Patties Day and I could stand a party tonight....................
Puternut
-
52
Emotional Day
by Puternut ini am having one of those days.
it all started yesterday when i was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby.
when i walked in the store, the nora jones cd was playing and i became emotional.
-
-
Puternut
Rabbit, you are correct I have no current pictures of them. I only have three small pictures that are old, to my name. It's all I have.........
Karen,
There is a place in my heart for you. You are safe there. You can stay as long as you want, and nothing will be asked of you. You don't have to talk. You don't have to do anything, but "be".
Your words move me deeply. My eyes are heavy and my heart is in pain. I'd wish nothing more than to rest my head in the comfort of a trusted friend, and just let me 'be'. I need to cry from my soul, and fall asleep safely............
Puternut
-
52
Emotional Day
by Puternut ini am having one of those days.
it all started yesterday when i was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby.
when i walked in the store, the nora jones cd was playing and i became emotional.
-
-
Puternut
I am having feelings of guilt today also. There are moments that I ponder on the fact that whether my decision about leaving the borg, was a wise choice. I know I had to do it for me, since I had been right in the middle of it all as a PO. My doubts started quite some time ago, and I knew there was something amiss within the borg. I also knew the great cost at which such decision would come. But over time my health declined and had a care less attitude about it. I know if I would have stayed, I would not have been happy either. And knowing the loss of children would be a difficult one. Yet one never gets the full realization of that, when one is in that actual position. So if I had to do it over again, knowing what I know now, I don't know what the answer would be. It is a toss up between my life's choices. I know that over time my children would have 'left the nest' and my contact with them would have been naturally lessened. Granted I would have some, but they would have their own lives and families. And this is part of the natural process. I know, they know I will be always there for them, yet the period between now and whenever in the future, seems far away. I am a patient man, but I am merely human and long for their precious faces. I love the unconditionally. My door is unlocked and wide open. I pray I won't be an old man in a retirement home, when my children come around. The thought of this never even happening is quite bothersome. Puternut
-
52
Emotional Day
by Puternut ini am having one of those days.
it all started yesterday when i was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby.
when i walked in the store, the nora jones cd was playing and i became emotional.
-
-
Puternut
Thank you all for your support. It is nice to know that there are so many that care, and some know what I am going through today. I have bought cards, but haven't written on them yet. They are as of yet a blank page.
There is most definitely a difference between having no contact with my children/ or no contact with my parents or aunts or uncles.
Franklin, thanks for the suggestion about calling, but my calls are screened and they will not answer. I have tried numerous times.
Sassy, A chat would be most welcome tonight. After all it's Patties Day, and in the safety of my home I can have a few drinks and laughs.
Simplesally, please give Teryn a big hug for me? I miss her. When I buckled her in the other day in her car seat, she told me she loved me. That's something I haven't heard from a little one in a long time, it touched my heart. You should be proud of her.
Puter
-
52
Emotional Day
by Puternut ini am having one of those days.
it all started yesterday when i was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby.
when i walked in the store, the nora jones cd was playing and i became emotional.
-
-
Puternut
I am having one of those days. It all started yesterday when I was picking up some work from a client yesterday nearby. When I walked in the store, the Nora Jones CD was playing and I became emotional. My heart started pounding in my chest. She asked me if I was ok, she knows me well, and knows my circumstances. Then she asked how my children were. I was unable to contain myself. Tears well up inside of me. She know's it's a touchy subject, and felt bad for inquiring about it. But I knew she meant well. And I expressed myself from my soul.
Earlier that day I came across some pictures of my kids. I haven't had any contact with them for a very long time. I feel empty without them. They are 19 and 17 now and the oldest is getting married this fall. I have been informed, I am not to be present. I understand how they feel, after all I am the one who taught them about their faith. I didn't have the heart to tell them last time, that Daddy is not coming back. I did not want to break their hearts. They are so innocent.
Nevertheless, it's diffcult not to have contact with them. So my cliend and I talked for a while and she told me she'd pray for me. I was touched by that kind gesture, eventhough I don't pray myself. She gave me a long sincere hug, and told me that in time hopefully things will work out. She is trying to understand, since she had some family that were dubs.
I have been sending on occasion notes to my children to let them know that I still love them. Everytime I compose these notes, it is extremely difficult for me, because I don't expect a reply. Not that I am expecting one, but it's form of communication, and I would love to just even see a glimps of them.
Today I need to write them again, yet since I am trying to do that, it is always an emotional moment. I am unable to concentrate on my work, I can't focus, and I have to force myself to get with it. As I am composing this post, my eyes are obstucted with tears, that's how much I am hurting inside. The emotional distress within, is sometimes unbearable. Since I have no more family that I can communicate with, I appeal to you, to help me today cope with my emotions. Words fail me, to tell you how much I appreciate all of you.
If you have any family at all that you have some contact with, be proud and thankful. There is nothing more difficult, than having an empty hole in your heart that aches, due to loss of family.
Puternut