Thanks everyone.
As you ALL seem to know it is a long journey to get out and find happiness not guilt. I am glad that we have this site to be able to speak your mind freely...I am in that fine line situation...not in not out...just waiting to see if my mom will need me when she gets old...she deserves that...she did give birth to me...and raised JW but that was all she knew and she did a pretty good job considering what I have seen. So anyways...married a wonderful Englishman...have three beautiful girls and have some wonderful friends...who still can't understand the religion thing...because unless you've been in it you have no clue...but they love me anyway and stick with me.