It doesn't matter how deep it is in your heart. Your belief in something does not make it the truth. We all need to look at the facts not our own personal experiences.
You are not reading my post only parsing. I qualified my statement that you refer to above explaining that believing deep in my heart that God is innocent in-spite of apparent evidence is because of my faith in him based on solid evidence and not based upon what I like to believe is true. Since I do not have all of the facts to know with certainty is why my hope requires trust. That trust is a risk that requires performance by God as I explained in my post. The solid evidence that I refer to is not only my personal relationship with God which is all of the the facts that I need to trust him but also Moses, the Prophets, Jewish history, Jesus and the substance of what is recorded in Bible translations. Notwithstanding any personal experience that I refer to in my post, I have concluded that there are enough facts to consider that favor God -but I do not know with certainty- and that is why I said "..deep in my heart.." in reference to God allowing human suffering after looking at facts.