Hi Nancy!
There is some great and not so great advice (imho) to be gleaned here.
There is one comment that sticks in my mind:
Hmmm...another perspective...I'm sorry to say but the husband sounds like a momma's boy. At this stage in his life that will most probably never change. He is the one I would confront if I were you. If he is letting his mother abuse you and treat you badly then I would eighter make him fix the situation or move your family away from her. I bet his answers to your confronterher/him will tell you quite a few things about both of them.
I think a more sensitive way of looking at this is would be:
A good son will try to take care of his mother. [Our first relationship with the opposite sex is with our mother. If that is not a healthy relationship, chances are we are going to have problems...]
He might not even realize that your M-I-L is abusing you because he grew up in that abuse and it might be normal to him until he sees this as being unhealthy. Compiled with the JW stuff, this can be devasting and harder to see because we are trying to apply Bible principles and narcissists like your M-I-L take advantage of their children and misuse the Biblr for their own selfish purposes. How do I know? My mother is a sick woman using this same approach with all of her sons. We are grown men but can, if we're not careful, age regress the second we hear our mother's voice. It's taken me years to overcome her manipulation.
To say your husband is a 'momma's boy' would be reckless, insensitive, and conducive to the exact thinking the WTBTS is known for: black and white thinking. [Dogpatch (JWD forum member) has pointed out that these thought cancelling phrases like 'He's a jerk' leaves no where else to go. It's a blunt statement. "Put him on a shelf...end of comment and thought. WTBTS mind stuff that I know I'm still trying to get rid of...]
The scars from the WT run deep and I do wish you sucess in your situation. I don't want to damage anyone seeking help. There is a lot of helpful folks here!
g
