Posts by cyber-sista

24

Would You See A Therapist or Doctor To Help You Get Out of JWs???

by minimus in

jw
friends

there are a number of people that have been "out" of the organization for years yet they almost seem to live for the "old days".

they might still be bitter , angry or depressed because of their past.

but in a strange way, it seems like they never really want to get back into reality, into the real world.

cyber-sista

For me the damage is beyond repair. I will just go on with life as living in a shell with no way out. I have resolved myself to this fact and what ever happens happens... I have no social life at all and could not imagine one at all.

Wow, zeroday, I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I would say start visualizing right away. Imagine that you can have an interesting life outside of the shell and take it from there. I would also say that my personal experience therapy is very helpful. I have seen in many cases and my own included that sometimes we begin to live and feel in the way the WT told us we would live and feel after we leave. I also had to fight that the WT had programmed into me. But, that was just another lie that we were fed. We can live a fun and productive away from the WT. Yes, and it's ok to just have fun!

Yes, I did go see a shrink when I was leaving (or trying to leave) the JWs control of me and it helped me tremendously. It so happens I found one who had some experience with people who had left (trying to leave) high controllling religious cults. One of the best things I learned was how to set boundaries in my life--even in small ways ( i used to feel guilty just hanging up on telemarketers and would sit there and politely listen to them rattle on when I knew i wasn't interested in their products.) One of the things that religiions like the JWs do is to break down all your boundaries, so you are no longer able to set any personal ones, so it's easy for people to take advantage and have control over you. I learned that I didn't have to stand there politely and squirming with a grin on my face when the JWs came to my door and start chattering at me. At first I felt frozen in place whenever I encountered any JWs. Now I set my boundaries with them and just say NO--don't want to talk about it and walk away. I no longer have to explain myself or use any energy when dealing with any of the WT B.S.

25

What is the WTs latest stand on education/college?

by cyber-sista in

my jw niece quit college a short time ago and didn't finish her degree, which she seems very excited about and took on a menial job, which she doesn't too happy about, according to my father.

my father (not a jw) is wondering what happened and if it is possibly something "the church" is now promoting.

when my daughter went to a 2 year college i had some negative comments from those in the congo.

cyber-sista

Think about it: They discourage higher education among the rank and file, but they use the donations of the rank and file to pay for college for the upper echelon of the WTBTS.

I am thinking about it and it reeks of hypocrisy.

18

Wife Abuse

by ZeroZen in

jws from what ive read seem to be very sexest they dont let women have a voice in the religion, and my friend said he was talking to a member and he said it is ok to hit and abuse your wife is this true?

cyber-sista

Wives be in subjection to your husbands. I knew plenty of JW husbands who were overly controlling (mentally abusive to their wives). There were also some who were wife beaters who seemed to maintain their fine JW postitions in the congregation. One sister I knew claimed her JW husband hit her and she went to the elders. One of them asked her what she did to make her husband beat her. She was very outspoken about her situation and was always told she had a problem with "headship."

25

What is the WTs latest stand on education/college?

by cyber-sista in

my jw niece quit college a short time ago and didn't finish her degree, which she seems very excited about and took on a menial job, which she doesn't too happy about, according to my father.

my father (not a jw) is wondering what happened and if it is possibly something "the church" is now promoting.

when my daughter went to a 2 year college i had some negative comments from those in the congo.

cyber-sista

If no one in the Org gets an education, how will they find skilled workers (lawyers, accountants, architects, etc) to keep the organization afloat? What about the lack of contributions from their low wage members? Seems like the WT shooting themselves in the foot with this teaching.

25

What is the WTs latest stand on education/college?

by cyber-sista in

my jw niece quit college a short time ago and didn't finish her degree, which she seems very excited about and took on a menial job, which she doesn't too happy about, according to my father.

my father (not a jw) is wondering what happened and if it is possibly something "the church" is now promoting.

when my daughter went to a 2 year college i had some negative comments from those in the congo.

cyber-sista

My JW niece quit college a short time ago and didn't finish her degree, which she seems very excited about and took on a menial job, which she doesn't too happy about, according to my father. My father (not a JW) is wondering what happened and if it is possibly something "the church" is now promoting.

When my daughter went to a 2 year college I had some negative comments from those in the congo. But I know lots of other JWs who went to college in the late 90s and it was supposed to be a "personal" decision, but not one you would promote to others. Even those who did go to college were made to feel guilty about it. I know there has been a lot of wafffling on this issue, but has there been some "new light" on the subject in recent years? I have been out of it for about 5 years now. One of the reasons I left was because I saw the pressure that was put on the "youth"in the congo. My daughter was a teenager at the time. The kids were being constantly harrassed and put down by the Organization. Some went off the deep end. I can't imagine it's getting any better. So, what's the latest WT stand on education?

50

BIG NEWS - UK Gov't to Stop Watchtower Blood Teaching?

by skeeter1 in

this below just came up on the wire and is higher in rank than the globe articlethe watchtower is going into spin control overtimehttp://www.religiousintelligence.co.uk/news/?newsid=1725new rules could threaten charity status of jehovah's witnesses.

religious intelligence ltd, uk - 19 minutes ago.

several jehovahs witnesses charities in the uk expressed concern that the draft guidance could affect their beliefs on blood transfusion.

cyber-sista

Besides the blood issue. What about their teachings of inequality of women? Their largely distributed "hate" literature towards those of other religions, beliefs, etc (all those not JWs). The list goes on..

I don't know the exact tax laws of the US, but if getting a tax free status depends on an organization meeting a certain criteria, such as charitable works, doing something for the public good, etc.... I wonder how quickly the WT would shed some new light on these issues if they didn't get their tax breaks because of them?

Oh poop, just looked it up. Looks like the WT org is following the US governments rules exactly.

However the IRS does have a list of criteria that they use to determine whether or not an organization should be granted tax free status. Those criteria are:
1. a distinct legal existence,
2. a recognized creed and form of worship,
3. a definite and distinct ecclesiastical government,
4. a formal code of doctrine and discipline
5. a distinct religious history,
6. a membership not associated with any other church or denomination,
7. an organization of ordained ministers,
8. ordained ministers selected after completing prescribed studies,
9. a literature of its own,
10. established places of worship,
11. regular congregations,
12. regular religious services,
13. schools for religious instruction of the young,
14. school for the preparation of its ministers.

Guess they've got their bases covered. At least here in the US.

46

So... is everyone here an x JW? Or currently??

by Elyse867 in

jw
friends

i'm a fader myself.... mentally exhausted from thinking of all the reasons why i've given up the "truth" and then the whole "what if" bs... anyway, welcome me, i'm new.

:)

cyber-sista

I've been out for 5 years now. It gets easier all the time. The first couple of years when I left I was still paranoid when I saw the elders or any of the other JWs around town. But last time the elders came aound I told them I thought it was best if we didn't discuss religion. (They haven't come back and its been over 3 years now). I finally realized they aren't in control of the way I choose to live my life.

23

JW's and antidepressants

by karter in

my jw wife was telling me how much better a sister was now shes on prozac it turns out half the congo is on it .

it appears jehovah's happy people are not so happy after all.

cyber-sista

Yes, both congregations I was in were heavily sedated. All my close JW friends were on meds. I even tried them for a bit, being that I felt paranoid and anxious all the time when I was a JW. Thank goodness they made me ill so I didn't do that for long. When I was having problems and left the Org. a few of my friends suggested that I was just depressed and should go on medication, so I wouldn't leave. None of my non-JW friends are on these meds. when I was a JW I knew about every name of every antidepressant drug there was since they were so talked about in the congo.

21

why did the "demons" only go after those "strongin the truth"

by looloo in

i heard that when a "strong " jw supposedly had demon problems (it was probably just the wind in reality) but i also heard that demons affected the ones that were "weak" and were not regular at meetings etc perhaps because they had second hand furniture lol

cyber-sista

One brother/elder in our congo could sense the presence of demons just about everywhere he went. He was admired for it even and was considered to be very "strong" in the truth. He was actually a very controlling, uptight and paranoid individual. I remember a few of us going into an artsy coffee shop one day (a nice place) and then leaving right away because brother/elder sensed the presence of the demons there. I actually thought it was a peaceful place with great atmosphere. Like I said, we all followed his lead thinking that he had some special insight, so we left--probably ended up a McDonalds. I don't think he felt the demons there.

He was crazy, but we were all crazy too for going along with his craziness.

62

Need some advice

by KICKED OUT in

jw
friends

i have not been on here in a long time but i have always valued the advice of everyone, so here goes.....i am dfd and my wife has never been a part of the org.

we are getting ready to have our first child in may.

my mother who is now living in patterson(at one of the motherships) speaks to me every 1 to 2 years.

cyber-sista

I guess I would question her motive. Is it her hope that her relationship with your child will lead to its conversion to being a JW someday? I know JW grandmothers who have stopped having a relationship with their unbelieving grandchildren because they come to the realization that the children will die in Armegeddon because of their unbelieving parents and they don't want their heart to be divided in that way ( can't see that being healthy for your child in the long run). When my daughter (not baptized) was getting married to someone (not a JW) I was taken in the backroom with an elder and a CO and told how I should view this situation. I was adviced to distance myself from my daughter, because in the end, especially if they had children this could divide my heart towards god. So what they were saying was that loving my unbelieving grandchild could divided my heart towards god. What kind of crap is that?

Of course this isn't always the case, but the JW grandmothers I have known do preach to their grandchildren. I can't see that it is healthy for your child to see its own father victimized (ignored, shunned) by his own parent. I can't see that it would be a postive experience for your wife either.

Your mother should not be the one to set the rules about your family (that you should stay away while she is there at your home!).

One side of me says let her come, maybe she will be softened by it, but the other side of me says don't put yourself in a position where you are being controlled by the JW rules (for you to have to stay away from your own wife and child in her presence seems wrong and even creepy to me to me right now.) Yes, tell your mom you love her and would love to have a normal family relationship with your family unit wife, husband and child. But you can't let her divide your family unit from the start.--it's not normal or healthy behaviour!

Just my opinion.

Congratulations by the way. Seek out those who are supportive of your family. These may not be blood relations, but good friendships can substitute.

The best,

CS