a good friend of mine invited me to a party after her meeting on sunday.
i told her i was not going any longer and she doesn't care.
she also let us know that no other witnesses would be there.
C&A said: I told the girl who invited us we would leave because I didn't want to mess things up...
As you were specifically invited by the host of the party, you should have stayed. That 'holier than thou loving brother' had not been invited by the host so if he had an issue with some of the properly invited guests, he ought to have been the one to leave.
this morning i get a frantic call from my sister (who has been baptized 1 year and one month and never attends meetings anymore).
in tears she tells me that this morning my father picked her up in the car and told her that i was am apostate.
that i no longer loved jehovah and that i was going to be disfellowshipped.
Congratulations on your decision.
What impact will this have on your wife & children? Will the elders now go after your wife?
i work with the school overseer so he'll be with me all day before the meeting...so being 'sick' isn't an option.
this really isn't like me to weasel my way out of something....but i've been ridiculously depressed lately and honestly i just don't have it in me to do anything let alone put a talk together.
everytime i do one it takes allot out of me and let's just say the well is pretty dry.
Excuses after not showing-up at the meeting:
Family Emergency
Sudden Migraine
Nosebleed
Ate something that didn't agree with you
Long phone call and time got away
Household emergency (ie: broken water pipe)
You were exhausted and fell asleep when you sat down for 5 minutes after dinner
You had forgotten you were assigned a talk.
or how about the truth?: I didn't feel up to giving the talk/attending the meeting. You could let him know in advance to have someone else give the talk. Whether he likes it or not should not be your concern.
You would benefit from changing your thought process. Best not to use the words 'weasel out' or other derogitory terms about yourself.
Although you are likely responsible, conscientious and reliable, sometimes you need to place your needs first. The fact is, your body is telling you not to do something, pay attention! This is not a weakness but maybe for your own good.
Even though you may have committed to doing something for someone else, what good are you to anyone if you don't take-care of your own needs and become worn-out and incompacitated as a result.
You are an adult and can make your own decisions whether anyone else likes it or not. No excuses are really required.
i figured he was going to arrange the committee and try to get me kicked out after the whole "big pile of books" labelled "take this shit".. well his call made me realize that more and more people ... elders included no longer take this religion seriously.
after he told me he heard what happened he actually laughed and said i would never expect that.
he then told me that it is apparent that i no longer want to be connected to the organization.
confusedandalone said: WTF is this about??
C&A
I think that this elder and possibly the other elders maybe a little afraid of you. You have demonstrated that they have no control over you.
The only power they hold is that which any of us allow them so in your actions when they came to your home, removed any authority they had. They did not fulfill their original purpose of their visit. They had to leave your home with their tail between their legs and probably pouting.
As you took an aggressive stance and have demonstrated you have nothing to lose, they could be afraid that you may take legal action against them personally if they pursue a course of action against you which is not to your liking - therefore the question: what do you want to occur? Alternatively, do you know anything about them or a congregation situation over the years that they are afraid you might reveal?
As far as the fishing trip, he could be taking the stance of keeping his enemy close, this way, he will get to learn what your intentions are. Then again, he could be trying to look favourable to you so any action you may take will not include him as your buddy.
this is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.
it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.
i feel free today.
Giordano,
I've gotten the impression that C&A is not concerned with identifying loopholes to 'permit' or force his parents to talk to him.
this is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.
it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.
i feel free today.
In addition to Oubliette's suggestion, I would also remind them that any action against you or your wife, places your JW employees incuding Sister Ex-Bethelite in a difficult situation. They wouldn't wish to do that now would they?
this is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.
it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.
i feel free today.
this is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.
it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.
i feel free today.
It sounds as though you are not currently being persued by your elders but that your brother is taking steps to ensure you are Df'd.
As you have bailed your parents-out before, I would be tempted to layback and not be too quick to bail them out again. I know due to YOUR conscience and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, it's easier said than done especially if you can afford to do so.
As your father said he would pay you back at $100/mo, how does he expect on doing that especially considering he and your mother have limited income? As I assume the debt they already couldn't pay for was for necessities, I think he is not realistic and will likely soon again amass additional dept which he again will expect you to pay. Easy come, easy go!
I suspect that if you were to be df'd, he will feel that he does not need to pay you back as paying a df'd person would affect his conscience and relationship with Jehovah.
As your parents have already demonstrated that their love relationship with you is conditional and as you are already considered to be mentally diseased, I suggest to not provide them any money. You could give the reason that you wouldn't want them to do anything that would affect their relationship with Jah by temping them with money as the fact that you are currently not df'd is only a technicallity as you have unofficially disassociated yourself.
I realy think it's time for your brother to step-up to some family responsibility. He wants to appear so righteous to others but as he is unwilling to assist in the care of his elderly parents, how can he in clear conscience assist the 'flock', many of whom are strangers to him. It could be thrown back at him that as an Elder, his responsibilities begin at home including with his own parents so by not assisting with their needs, he is no longer qualified to be an Elder.
i'm curious about what you all think on this subject.
when my husband and i became irregular about a year ago, and then inactive around 5 months ago, i felt that it would be hypocritical to take advantage of the social side of the witness community if we weren`t going to meetings or in service.
we stopped entertaining (which we did quite regularly - theme parties, card parties, movie nights, big turkey dinners, breakfasts on holidays etc), and i slowly stopped accepting invitations for get togethers, playdates etc.
If your intention is to fade, you're best not to offer explainations.
As I suspect that those inviting you to dinner and other social functions are from your own congregation, they would likely already know that you have been abscent or 'inactive' so no further explaination should be necessary. If they still invite you, attend if you want but offer no excuses to permit them to back-out from their invitation.
You may consider JWs to be friends but WT indoctrination will have most beleive they have nothing incommon with you if you stop attending and are a risk to their faith if you develop views not in-line with the WT organization.
As you found out, whatever expaination you provide will be used against you. Most JWs really don't want to know why you're not attending as any explaination you offer will never provide a valid reason. They usually demand an explaination or action as they like to pigeon hole everyone with a label: Publisher, Elder, Pioneer, Associate, Marked, Disfellowshipped, Apostate, Wordly, Demonized, etc.
Of course, many witness love to gossip so any info you do provide will spread like wild fire along with whatever else they care to make-up about you or 'speculate' about why you've stopped attending.
As you provided a written response to one person already, there is no telling how many others that text was shown to. Written texts, emails, notes and conversations with more than one person really need to be discontinued as written responses maybe collected and retained for use against you while conversations which canbe overheard may have additional witnesses to what was said, even if what was heard is out of context.
said the elder who came to our door this morning.
last time he came we weren't in a position to give him one because we were doing a big cleanup.
today- well, i was in my pyjamas!.
I agree with leaving_quietly. Many JW's have no natural affection or human emotions and their priorities are all out of whack.
My BiL, a JW elder, went out d2d and then to an elders meeting the morning after his mother died. He said nothing about his mother until someone mentioned that he seemed kind of down.
His non-elder JW Dad, was appalled and kept asking why his son wasn't there with his other JW children.
