Posts by Incognito

40

Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater in

i'm pimo, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

except an elder asked me on thursday night if i can start giving a ride to a disfellowshipped woman because she lives near me and nobody else from the hall lives in my village.

it seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.. i thought all normal publishers weren't to have any contact with disfellowshipped people?

Incognito

No prob Steve,

This from IC's 2nd post on page 1

I'm a woman too, explaining why this Elder asked me to give the disfellowshipped woman a ride rather than ask a Brother

24

Am I losing my mind or am I being stalked?

by Michigan22 in

jw
friends

hi everyone, this is my first post.

i studied the bible weekly with a wonderful jw.

i suddenly stopped because things just seemed to be getting stranger.

Incognito

Your question is: What do they gain?

They count and report the time knocking on doors and the literature they place or leave at the doors. This is the same with the time spent with you in studying JW religion. The hours reported show how 'spiritual' the JW is.

Unfortunately, there are not many perks for a JW woman so about the most she can qualify as is called a 'Pioneer' which means she will have a quota of hours to spend in preaching each month. Most JWs are not Pioneers but are called Publishers. Publishers do not have a quota but are expected to report at least the national average of hours preaching (usually 10 hours/month).

If a baptised male JW consistently attains the national average, he may then qualify for additional congregation 'privileges' (prestige of position) as a Ministerial Servant and then Elder.

A 'study' (ie: you) who becomes baptised, allows some additional bragging rights for the JW who studied with you and maybe considered to be an indication of God's blessing on them.

40

Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater in

i'm pimo, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

except an elder asked me on thursday night if i can start giving a ride to a disfellowshipped woman because she lives near me and nobody else from the hall lives in my village.

it seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.. i thought all normal publishers weren't to have any contact with disfellowshipped people?

Incognito

You are an adult female who gets to decide who you will allow or are comfortable in allowing in your vehicle. No excuses are necessary. You don't need to stop to explain to each hitchhiker you see as to why you will not give them a ride, so to in this situation, you don't know this person. Although she may attend your KH, she has been deemed by your elders as an un-acceptable JW which you must accept without question. Throw their rules back on them.

Edit to add: I expect the elders expectation will be that you don't converse even while alone in the vehicle. She would likely be expected to get in and say nothing, as would you for the entire trip, there and back. How uncomfortable would that situation be?

24

Am I losing my mind or am I being stalked?

by Michigan22 in

jw
friends

hi everyone, this is my first post.

i studied the bible weekly with a wonderful jw.

i suddenly stopped because things just seemed to be getting stranger.

Incognito

Welcome.

If you reevaluate the situation, I think you will realize your study was not a 'bible study' but was the reading of JW publications which use the JW bible to support the information being presented.

Most of us on this forum are ex-JWs who have come to realize the JW religion as a cult.

Your 'Wonderful' JW study conductor invested effort and time to convert you, and it is inconceivable that your study conductor could have done anything to cause you to stop your study. JW's refer to the religion as "The Truth". You deciding to stop then means to her/him that the devil is placing pressure on you so that you will not know "The Truth". She/he may be stalking you or asking others to, to identify activities and interests which have caused you to 'turn away' from "The Truth".

Once some activities are recognized, expect your conductor or other JW to call on you with information on how those activities are taking your time away from learning 'The Truth'.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Incognito

think maybe I need to slowly back away from the situation. See him less. Text him less

There is no need to go 'slowly' about it. If you have told him to back off, then you need to ensure cutoff of all further contact and do not respond to calls, texts or further meetups.

You can't control if he will or won't comply with your demands. This is not a request but is a demand. If he continues to pursue contact, then I expect you will have grounds for a Restraining or No-Contact order whereas if you continue to give-in to him, then that will show you are not serious that you want no further contact with him.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Incognito

I just read through most other posts.

While he is placing conditions on you for your relationship to advance, you must study JW beliefs and eventually become a full-fledged JW yourself. He may not have said that directly, but make no mistake, that is what is intended.

Have you placed similar conditions on him for your relationship to continue or do you accept him as he is?

Why is it he doesn't accept you as you are but you must meet and study with his mother, to become a potential convertee? Have you asked him to attend your church or become a member of your religion? I expect if you made even one request to him, his reaction wouldn't be as accepting as your reaction has been.

You have been provided much useful information here. This includes learning of JW negativity against a JW dating anyone who is not a JW. Also in learning it is a disfellowshipping offence to have premarital sex with anyone, JW or not.

Have you asked him why he wants you to become JW when he doesn't adhere the religion's rules and requirements himself? If he gives an excuse that he isn't actually yet baptised as a JW, that is a BS excuse as a person does not need to be baptised to hold and follow beliefs they genuinely consider to be true.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Incognito

Welcome to the forum Sunnybear:

I haven't read through the entire thread to see if anyone had said the same.

You asked: I asked him if I was his girlfriend?

He told you "I love you. You are my best friend. But I don't think a marriage would work between us. I don't want to ruin what we have by making this a relationship."

Didn't this JW 'boyfriend' already answer your question? :if he is not interested in a future and is just having fun with me.

28

Solicitors Visit Update

by pale.emperor in

in case you're not aware of my last two threads:.

the situation that arose in that my mother has been having secret access to my daughter and refusing to tell me how she is: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5012900121935872/am-overreacting-here.

the build up to my solicitors visit: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/6284953638666240/solicitors-appontment-tomorrow-advice-appreciated.

Incognito

Congratulations on obtaining the advice you need in your legal standing, and for getting your wife to agree that visitation with your mother and sister must now be arranged through you.

As you have control and authority, suggest as conditions for your mother, her husband and your sister to continue visitation, the time:

Shall not involve religious discussion, instruction, or influence
Shall not involve attendance at kingdom hall or other JW functions
Shall not involve discussion regarding your or your exes lack of attendance at meetings, acceptability to God or the organization, or your personal relationships with others
Shall not include discussion or opinions regarding holidays, birthdays and other celebrations
Shall not include discussion or opinions regarding activities you or your ex have arranged for you daughter to attend or participate in
You are to be consulted before they remove your daughter from their premises
You are to be immediately notified upon any injury or incident

27

Solicitors Appontment Tomorrow - Advice Appreciated

by pale.emperor in

following up on this thread: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5012900121935872/am-overreacting-here?page=3#!#5179106934128640.

im seeing my solicitor tomorrow to see about getting an order in place making sure any contact my daughter has with my jw family goes through me and not my ex-wife.. explained the situation briefly to the lawyer, she was asking more and more about why should i be concerned if a jw had access to my child.. i mentioned the blood issue, the shunning, the inappropriate pictures of armageddon in books/mags etc.

do you think i should bring in watchtower literature to show them what i mean?

Incognito

As mentioned, document everything, even items you may not initially consider to be relevant. Documentation should include dates and times, who said what, how they said it (face-to-face, telephone, text etc) and a brief reminder of why you had a concern.

Legal standings rely on facts. Uncertainty such as 'I think' and 'maybe' hold little weight whereas written records and other proof only serve to support your position. Show the lawyer evidence of WT images which support your concern. A major part of a lawyer's job is to advise you as the client, things that may be relevant and supportive to the action you are considering.

34

Am I Overreacting Here?

by pale.emperor in

let's call him "dave".. dave: hello?.

dave: we dont have to tell you how she is.

dave: <her mother> has custody.

Incognito

Your mother and sister being rude cult followers is painful and very annoying, but seems not really relevant for the question at hand.

The problem being, the behavior of the mother, her husband and Pale's sister, sets an example for Pale's child. Allowing that behaviour to continue, then indicates that behaviour is correct, justified and acceptable, and so how long will it take before the child starts to treat Pale in a similar manner?

Rules of behaviour need to be established now, not after a problem develops. The child's welfare rests with both parents, not the grandparents or Aunt. Both parents need to agree to work together in the interest of the child regardless of their relationship with each other.

The blood issue is a valid concern as JW's typically consider their actions as being what God requires. If the child had an accident while in the care of the Grandmother or Sister, and if blood was required, would the GrandM or sister inform the parents of required treatment or would they act to prohibit blood as a method for the child to have God's favour?

While Pale understandably wants his child to have a relationship with his family, that should not occur at the expense of his relationship with his child or at the risk of the child's welfare.