This post is intended as a follow up to my earlier post about Intellectual Honesty v Spiritual Claims: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/71155/1.ashx
Prayer is an integral part of faith, as it is the very expression of faith and belief in the existence of God. When people bow their heads (or raise them up, whatever the custom) ... they approach an invisible Being they call God, and attach various names to him/her/it ... and as they pary or talk to God, they do so in a One-Way session ... with no feedback, input, or indication from God that he is listening, hearing, when or IF he/she/it will ever answer. I would love to expereince something like this:
ME: "Lord, my 12 year old child is dying of cancer, and I just lost my job, and with it the needed medical insurance. But, most of all I don't want my child to die. Will you help Lord? Will you take this awful disease from her?"
GOD: "Well, son, I see what is going on, and I am concern for you and your daughter. I am thinking about what is best for you, your daughter, and everyone concerned. So, give me a few days and I, or one of my angels, will get back with you with a firm answer. In the meantime, take comfort in that she will not die while you are waiting, and I will ease her pain. Oh, and by the way, a new Job offer is coming in tomorrow, so hang in there ... keep the faith.
Now, was that so hard for God himself to say, and not make me go through a big guessing game, trying to interpret what his will is for my life?
Instead, here is what some Christian Preachers say:
PREACHER: "When you prayed to God, and he did not grant your request, why do you think he did not answer you? YOU were NOT listening to GOD!!! He answered you alright. God said NO to you! Now, what part of NO do you NOT understand?"
Oh come on, get serious! Yet, this is typical logic I hear from the best of sincere and moderate preachers and fellow Christians. The truth is, God did not say No. This speaking for God is a form of blasphemy, because it is lying for God! In truth, God was dead silent ... now, God may have intentions of answering someday, someway, somehow ... and in a way that I don't know it comes from him ... but, does that build Faith and a Relationship?
How would anyone like to be engaged to marry someone they have never met, never talked to, never exchanged correspondence, and never seen? Yet, people of God, whether Isalmic or Christian, etc. all believe that someday they will live in heaven (or paradise earth as some Islamic people believe) in an eternal blessed relationship with God. How can this be when there is no honest evidence now of any real relationship? Faith, anchored in hope and love is all we have.
Two children from different families are dying of cancer. Both parents are Christian, and even attend the same church. They both pray the same way to the same God. Their support groups hold prayer vigils for both families, honoring many prayer requests over many months.
One day, one child is discovered to have no cancer ... it went into remission and appears to have disappeared. The doctors do not understand this, as it was an incurable type. The parents are elated, and rejoice in the Lord. They tell everyone about this miracle! They join ministry groups to help other parents. They praise God and declare their faith to all.
On another day, the other child dies from a long and painful death. The parents are in total grief, and have nothing to rejoice over. They quietly beg God for the strength to cope, and ask God, "WHY?"
These are not situations that humans have any power to change the outcome. These are very real and everyday situations where people of faith see what they interpret as answers to their prayers, while others are left in silence to greive with the most serious and painful loss a person can experience. We are told of the good results in testimonials to faith and the power of prayer ... while we seldom hear of the majority who grieve in the background ... with the same faith, but their prayers went unanswered.
Did God say YES to one family, but NO to the other? Was one family more faithful than the other? Was one child more deserving than the other? Could it be the failure of one family to do something right? Did God forget to notice, and the Devil slipped in and killed one child? Is God testing one family but not the other? OR ... Was it simply the unpredictable odds that caused one child to go into remission, but the other to die? What is the truth? Who can rightfully speak for God in these matters, and not risk being a liar?
Am I losing my faith No. I am trying to reach a level of honesty about God when it comes to matters of faith and prayer. I am finding that in all honesty, God is silent ... I cannot in truth assume he speaks inside my mind, for it is only my own voice and wishful thinking that I hear ... I cannot presume that he speaks through other humans, as they could be unwitting liars, albeit, most sincere. Even if every word in the Bible were inspired, it still does not help, because it addresses global and historical issues, and not my specific concerns in the 21st century. Yes, the Bible implies God will answer and grant requests made in faith ... but in PRACTICE an honest Christian will be forced to admit that they simply don't know and it seems God is silent.
When I was dying from my Heart Attack ... I was in severe pain for over 3 hours ... I was going to die unless something was done to save me. I was facing death in the most real sense I have ever faced it ... I had an uncertain time to think, to pray, to contemplate my life, and my relationship with God. If there was ever a moment for long bright tunnels, songs in the melodies of angels, and the kind inviting voice of God ... this was IT! BIG TIME!!! ... I did not ask God to let me live ... I no longer cared as I was in too much pain ... I told God that I was not going to make any last minute pleas for anything ... except to stop the pain ... it mattered not if I lived or died ... I got a little mad at God too ... I did not want to die, not like this at this time ... but, I was not going to fight death ... rather I told God that he knows all that I am as a human ... I cannot add to my life anymore ... and he will have to judge me and do his God stuff ... but I was in too much pain to talk to him anymore.
I lived. Albeit, with a time-bomb attached to my life ... but, alive nonetheless. Well, more has been added to my life ... but, here is where I found God and discovered my faith in a way that could never have been invented by a religion or the Bible or anything else ...
Stay tuned for Part 2: Finding Faith over Fantasy ...