Posts by dubstepped

32

Fun with Caleb and Sophia.

by ToesUp in

this photo was on a pro jw website!

unbelievable!!!.

.

dubstepped

They truly love in their own world. Somehow he managed to make cartoon characters aimed at indoctrinating children even more creepy.

2

Young ex-JW Jason Droboth explains the benefits of University

by wheelwithinwheel in

jw
friends

christian and katja interview a young ex-jw.

excellent!.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_ursarjohg.

So awesome. Glad for that young man that he found an authentic path in life. It sounds like it really agrees with his interests and disposition. I gave up college myself and I had lots of scholarship opportunities. Had to get out there and knock on doors all week where nobody was home and put in lots of hours with a bunch of women that wanted nothing to do with the only young brother. In our congregation, brothers and sisters didn't really work together in service. That only lead to fornication, you know. Even if they're in their 70's. Anyway, I literally worked alone many days for hours on end. Man I wish I never settled for what other people wanted for me instead of what I wanted. So congrats Jason! Stay the course and enjoy your life!

33

Thought I was stronger!

by Peony in

just come home from a weight loss class early.

it's 6 months since i da'd and two and a half years since i've been to a meeting.

there was a witness there (unless she has left, i wouldn't know) we made eye contact!

dubstepped

I like what FayeDunaway says above. One thing I've noticed is the immense shame that people feel when leaving the Borg, whether they left voluntarily or involuntarily. My brother, who I reconnected with after many years of being DF'ed, seemed to carry that shame to some degree for all of those years. I'm determined that whenever my DA finally gets announced I don't want it to impact the way I am around those people who will now shun me. My goal is to be really nice any time I see them at first and to shame them for their behavior if they refuse to interact. I'm not taking that bullcrap on myself, and I know that's a huge purpose of shunning, to make you feel lower than dirt (as if you're dead) so that you feel so ashamed you come back. Nope, not going there. I want to talk to them like I normally would and if they won't talk back I want to ask them questions like if they think they're being loving by trying to psychologically manipulate people to come back with the silent treatment. I honestly think I may have to refrain from making fun of them. I don't want to, as I don't want to be a bully myself, but I do also want to make them feel that shame, make them feel awkward like they want me to feel, make them feel rejected as they would have me feel. It's all so stupid, and I want to point it out.

I'm so sorry that it got to you like that. I've seen it before and it hurts. I think that with my family it may be harder because there was a closer relationship there that I'm more hurt by losing and I'm sure that they were hurt by my decision. But ultimately I am trying very hard to remember that I'm just being me. They are the ones treating me differently. I never did anything to them. They ARE doing something to me by shunning me. That's on them, and I don't want to take any of that on as my own. They should be ashamed of their behavior, not me.

43

Was Anyone Disfellowshipped Twice? How About Three Times?

by anewme in

jw
friends

years ago there was this guy ****** ******* i'll never forget him.

disfellowshipped 3 times!!!!

at the last dfing announcement the brother got up there and yelled into the mic .

dubstepped

Fisherman, in what world are the DF'ed spoken to at the Kingdom Hall and when on the street? They shun and you know it. Heck, we were shunned and not even DF'ed or anything. Stop trying to whitewash their graves. We all know what's inside.

59

Introducing Myself

by Peony in

i've finally got round to joining the site (after over 2 years lurking!

i was born into jws, pioneered for 10 years (met my husband at pioneer school).

had health issues that saw me catapulted away from 'the centre of the cong' and wow what a different place that was!

dubstepped

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story and I hope to learn more. My wife and I just sent in our DA letters ourselves. I'd love to hear how you're dealing with the fallout and how life is going on for you guys. It helps to share our stories and to hear those of others. The journey out can be very lonely.

37

Go on welfare!

by life is to short in

i am going to make this short.

i ran into a older jw women who i have known my whole life.

she is pushing 80 and will never change.

dubstepped

Even if they don't go straight on the government dole, one elder was telling me how he doesn't have to pay anything under the new Affordable Care Act for insurance because he works less and less so that he can go out in service more. Of course, while his premiums go down, those of us who work our tails off have to pay more to care for those like them who aren't healthy and aren't spending time contributing into the system. I know of others that are on various welfare programs because they want to do more for Jehovah. We had a pioneer couple on the circuit assembly program years ago that were living in government housing and on welfare. My wife and I couldn't believe what we were hearing. If nothing else, when they are pushed their whole lives to abstain from overtime and limit their earning they aren't putting much into the system. Not that everyone should work themselves to death just to pay into a system, but many do as little as possible to provide for themselves materially and then later need assistance because of poor planning. I wish I'd have done things differently myself. The only good thing is that I've still got years to earn and save for retirement, though I'm considerably behind. I hate the mentality that they instill in their followers.

69

Why Me?

by John Aquila in

do you ever wonder why out of all the witnesses, you are the one that woke up?

i wonder many times why me.

i know many men and women that are much, much better persons than me; either they are much smarter, more humble, kinder, more successful, or just better persons all around.

dubstepped

I think it all comes down to openness and courage to face fears and challenge things, looking for something better as a seeker in life. Most people prefer the comfort of thinking they have found what they're looking for and that illusion to the life of constantly seeking and growing. Growing pains accompany such seeking, and most seek to avoid the pain. There are plenty of intelligent, caring, self-sacrificing people that will simply not have the natural ability or tools that it takes to step out on their own and buck the system, whatever that system is. Look through history and it is those that stood apart as different that grew the most, but they were also the rarity. It isn't the quality of person that matters but specific qualities of that person that can make one see TTATT and walk away.

31

Having One Of Those "Pondering Disassociation" Days :(

by freemindfade in

there are a lot of things that make me have days like this, the utter embarrassment of being are part of a cult that protects child abusers, that enforces emotional brutality through shunning, and that lies constantly.

the lying i can tolerate, the world is built on bullshit, i have a high lie tolerance.

i can ignore it if it has no effect on me etc.

dubstepped

FMF: Just had an epiphany, my large, uber dub family is a cult within a cult.
So they sustain this thing on two levels. wow..

An excellent observation. Sadly, often the uber dub family is the much more stringent and dysfunctional cult than even the organization. Nobody will turn their backs on you faster than family, at least in my experience.

42

i feel more confused than ever

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

well i know i've been posting a lot of topics like this lately and i'm sorry if i sound whiny or annoying.

my parents were asking me why i was so upset lately and i ended up just telling them the whole truth.

i told them i don't believe in god or the bible because i don't have any evidence of anything.

dubstepped

I told them I didn't like feeling controlled and they told me "where not controlled we chose this" ......

Umm.........maybe they should listen to your choice then. To do otherwise would be controlled, and like they said, they would never do such a thing, right? I love the JW double talk.

You're a kid. Good grief, until I hit 30 I really was quite clueless and lacked a lot of perspective on the world. That's when I really started learning how the world works and put things together, started realizing who I was and who my wife really was, and really started maturing. And I wasn't some dumb kid before then. Always intelligent, hard working, had it all together from what others saw and seemed like a great example. I was never in any kind of trouble and excelled where I tried. However, I really was naive and had a LOT to learn, and I'm sure I still do even now, though the amount I've learned in the past 8 years trumps the previous 30. I think there was a reason that even Jesus wasn't baptized until so late by today's standards, and he was perfect. That's a huge step and unfortunately JW parents often push their children into it and then effectively give them a death sentence in the organization by signing them to a lifelong contract without allowing them time to have any perspective. I know my parents got to make the choice and turned their backs on their former religions, but if I do it that's a horrible thing that I should be shunned forever for. Hypocrites!

So man, take it slow. You've got so much time to learn and grow. You're a kid, so be one. Don't take on adult problems that you have no real need to take on right now. Enjoy life, learn, watch the examples of others and observe how their lives turn out. You can learn a lot just by watching others. I've always done that. Don't let people push you into doing things that you don't want to do, even if they're well meaning like your own parents. Don't let people make you feel doomed and do anything out of fear. Fear isn't a good reason to act. It can be a motivator, for sure, but there are much better ones. You have time to make decisions. Enjoy the process and don't rush anything.

Take care!

31

Having One Of Those "Pondering Disassociation" Days :(

by freemindfade in

there are a lot of things that make me have days like this, the utter embarrassment of being are part of a cult that protects child abusers, that enforces emotional brutality through shunning, and that lies constantly.

the lying i can tolerate, the world is built on bullshit, i have a high lie tolerance.

i can ignore it if it has no effect on me etc.

dubstepped

I should probably add that we too had DA and non-DA days. It is a tough decision to make and one that I don't think most people can ever be truly at absolute peace with because ultimately the choices aren't good. The win-win is what most people want, to be able to freely choose for themselves which direction they want to go and to have the support of their loved ones. They don't allow for that option and therefore losses will occur. If we stayed in and kept playing the fading game we would lose respect for ourselves because of giving in to someone else's wishes for us and we'd be fake like them. If we left, at least we walked away with something.

It sounds like you, FMF, have friends at least. If they can be your friends while you fade, maybe DAing isn't worth it. Unfortunately, from reading countless experiences, it seems that most find the loss of those people inevitable. We knew that in our case we really had none left anyway. DAing was still tough because it is a permanent bell that can't be unrung. However, DA'ing was being true to ourselves, even if the choice isn't one we wanted to have to make. We hold our heads high now instead of hiding who we were. One of my favorite quotes is:

"Is the life you're living worth the price you're paying?"

For us, the answer was no, and necessitated a change. I really feel for everyone on here in this predicament.