Posts by dubstepped

44

The Witnesses Are Really Trying Hard To Get Me Back In

by minimus in

jw
friends

at my mom's bed side all i see is either jw family or friends making a concerted effort to have me return to their fold.

evidentlyy, my mom has encouraged this and i'm a trapped prisoner, as they do their best to have me come back.

it's bad enough that i have to endure my mom's dying, now i have to be bombarded with this bs..

dubstepped

Wow, I'm so sorry Minimus. Sending good vibes your way.

9

I have found a new Anthem for us ExJW's - Defector by Muse

by cantleave in

jw
friends

freeyeah, i'm freefrom your incitingyou can't brainwash meyou've got a problemfreeyeah i'm freefrom societyyou can't control mei'm a defectoryou think you're strong and you can't be brokenbut your empire is dissolvingyou thought, you thought i was weakbut you got it wronglook into my eyesi'm a defectorfreeyeah, i'm freefrom your incitingyou can't brainwash meyou've got a problemfreeyeah i'm freefrom societyyou can't control mei'm a defectoryour blood is blue and your mind is turned greenand your belly is all yellowyou believe your throne is too high to be overthrownwe'll watch it get razedby a defectorfreeyeah, i'm freefrom your incitingyou can't brainwash meyou've got a problemfreeyeah i'm freefrom societyyou can't control mei'm a defectori'm a defectorfreeyeah, i'm freefrom your incitingyou can't brainwash meyou've got a problemfreeyeah i'm freefrom societyyou can't control mei'm a defector

dubstepped

I like "I'll Attack" by 30 Seconds To Mars. Just really listened to it the other day and felt it was appropriate for some of my feelings. I love the Rise Against song mentioned as well, big fan of theirs and saw them in concert earlier this year. Now I'm off to check the Muse song, as I like them too.

53

First thoughts on "new" meeting...

by konceptual99 in

had a quick look at the workbook and flicked through the sample meeting video.. the increased use of video shows the trend for more centralised dissemination of "best practice" .

sure there isn't really a "school" any more and the format is a bit different but i think those that called it as the same old crap just in new package got it pretty much right.

.

dubstepped

crazyhorse: They're all zombies.

Aren't they though? JW's are so afraid to be human, so afraid to err or even put on heirs that they might not be perfect, that they make videos like this where people are devoid of natural interactions. Much like when I was a kid pointing out that kids don't respond to books like the YPA book because nobody talks like that, I can again point to videos like this as evidence that these aren't real people. They are robots. Watch their faces as they feign emotion that they know they "should" show over someone weeping in the Bible accounts, the pat on the arm the sister receives for her sudden comment about her husband's death, and the forced expression of support for her from the brother leading the study. I've always found it creepy.

RULES & REGULATIONS:
Where are the late arrivals?
Why aren't there any elders causing a commotion by whispering in someone's ear and walking around pretending they have something to say that can't wait till the meeting ends?
Where are the members who need to walk to the water fountain or go to the bathroom for the 10th time?
Why isn't there anyone so tired from a hard days work that they are nodding off?

Well brothers and sisters, aren't we happy that we have the real life apart from the distractions of this world? Doesn't it warm our hearts that we can praise Jehovah with such a perfect meeting? Stumbling over words when commenting shows that we don't really love Jehovah with the declarations of our lips now, does it? And shouldn't we strive in our heartfelt expressions from our seats to reflect the intensity of the emotions and lives of those that we read about through the pages of God's Word? Would we want to miss even one second of this rich spiritual blessing by not being in our seats and attentive, for this means our very life? The refreshing atmosphere of our Christian congregation is enhanced by our loving consideration of one another by remaining in our seats until the spiritual feast is over. Blah....blah....blah....

I can still write the ridiculous overcompensating drivel that they would speak from the platform as words of "encouragement" (or shame) to those that are falling short of their ridiculous expectations.

15

A question for the shunned re: hide or seek

by dubstepped in

so here's my question as a newly daed person that is summarily shunned.

do you hide from family and act like you don't exist or do you let them know you're still here and seek them out?

they want you to be dead, like you no longer exist, because strict avoidance makes it easier on them.

dubstepped

@ Sabin and @ Mary J Blige - I have to say that although I liked the other posts here, your two posts really hit me. I think that the farther I get from the cult the less I remember how I would have felt if I was still in and someone sent me letters or cards or whatever. You're very correct in your assessment as to how they will likely be received, especially that part about them seeing it as me being sorry for my choices. I remember them twisting things I did even before I DA'ed to fit the story they've all been given. They have a narrative provided to them that explains the actions of everyone, including those that leave the Borg. Everything we do will be viewed within that framework. It really is a losing battle, and honestly I don't want to get sucked back into that toxic world at all.

I actually shunned my brother for many years and reconnected with him on my own last year. He never sent me cards or anything and it made no difference. It was up to me to see the error of my shunning ways and to reach out to him, which I did. You two are right. There's no use in sending anything with any hopes, and the reality is that our family was not really close anyway. Very dysfunctional even on the best of days. I've always been an optimist, hoping that my family would turn out to be close and loving and it was just never in the cards no matter how hard I tried to get us together and to be family. It has led me to getting back into dealings that I shouldn't have and I've been burned more than once. I appreciate what everyone said, but you two said what I personally needed to hear with my circumstances and history.

37

I'm a coward.

by cappytan in

jw
friends

since the move, it has been so enjoyable to not have jw's breathing down our necks asking why we didn't make the meeting, or having to pretend to be "spiritual" in front of family all the time.. 90% of my week is virtually stress free.

then, my mom calls or texts wanting to talk to her grandkids.

every dang call, she asks about the new congregation, if we went to the meeting, etc.. why can't i tell her to fk off?

dubstepped

Even before DAing my parents were told in no uncertain terms that I didn't want to talk about the religion anymore. It was just a place I was unwilling to go. I told them I was struggling with it all and didn't want to be disrespectful so let's just leave it off the subject list for conversations. We can still talk about life. Unfortunately that's about all JWs have to talk about, but it did buy us time until we disassociated for good. We didn't know that was our inevitability, but we knew JW talk was highly upsetting.

With that said, there sure is some beauty to the silence brought on by DAing. Hang in there. You're no coward. This is something tough that most people never have to face. Just the fact that you faced down your own belief structure is proof of more bravery than many possess.

15

A question for the shunned re: hide or seek

by dubstepped in

so here's my question as a newly daed person that is summarily shunned.

do you hide from family and act like you don't exist or do you let them know you're still here and seek them out?

they want you to be dead, like you no longer exist, because strict avoidance makes it easier on them.

dubstepped

So here's my question as a newly DAed person that is summarily shunned. Do you hide from family and act like you don't exist or do you let them know you're still here and seek them out? They want you to be dead, like you no longer exist, because strict avoidance makes it easier on them. My wife and I are trying to decide what to do. Should we still send cards for anniversaries and such? We want to take the high road here, to show them that THEY are the ones making a change because JWs blame the victim of their shunning. I want them to see that we're still here and that we're the bigger people while they're being petty. On the other hand, I don't want to psychologically torment cult victims who don't know how screwed up they are. What do you do? Just disappear into the night as if you never were, or let them know that you still are?

124

My Mom Is Dying

by minimus in

jw
friends

i just wanted to say that my dear 89 year old mom is terminally ill and will soon pass.

she is on morphine and hanging on.

she has been a devout witness for about 60 years and a wonderful mother.

dubstepped

Since I DA'ed I lost both parents and will likely never even know when they die. So although it will be hard to lose her, appreciate the times you had and the bond as well. Hugs for you and yours.

22

If you don't enjoy working with the public choose another career.

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

i'am sure you have come across someone with that type of personality, working in sales, clerk, waitress or waiter.

most are nice but once in a while you come across that person that needs to choose a different career.. this morning i met that person, she just screwed up my day.

i'm thinking maybe her day wasn't a good start,a fight with her husband, bills or children but don't screw up my day.

dubstepped

Sounds like your ego got the best of you. The person made a mistake, and for it to ruin your day because she didn't confirm your correctness means that you should learn more about the ego. So much of our daily interactions revolve around our ego or that of others. Maybe the service person didn't want to admit error because of their ego and it triggered yours because it transferred to you. In the end, it doesn't affect who you are as a person when something like that happens. We expect too much of one another and often not enough of ourselves. Be the bigger person and rise above.

With that said, we've all been there and let it get the best of us. I used to get super upset over things like that. Reading A New Earth by Tolle really helped me to take a look at such interactions. We're all having a shared experience and that person fell short. That's an opportunity for you to pick up the slack.

23

If your Bethelite Brother Doesn't Know About It, It Musn't Be True

by HomebytheSea in

a few weeks ago my deeply indoctrinated father who is a long time elder was wondering why we hadn't been attending meetings, and why my 8 yr old son wasn't on the theocratic school ( sounds like i almost off the hook with that one...lol).

we live in a different state, but i came to find out that one of the elders in our hall called my father, who he never met, to see why our meeting attendance had been so sporadic (i am in my mid-40's, so that knowledge made my blood boil, to put it mildly!

i tried not to answer, but he kept pressuring me, so i brought up the arc and child abuse cases i had heard of in our area.

dubstepped

Ugh, I feel for you. I got mad just reading your post. You can't reason with unreasonable people and they will drive you mad if you spend too much time with them. The boundary crossing in the Borg is simply astonishing. From odd family dynamics to the spying that goes on in congregations the toxicity just drips from every pore of the being that is the religion as a whole. To be invalidated in such a manner is just sickening, and like you I look forward to the day where they cannot deny or hide their errors anymore.

9

Crazy Study Stories

by dubstepped in

i never really had any studies to speak of, but my parents did have many over the years, and every single one of them was batsh!t crazy in some way.

there was one lady we kids affectionately termed "dirty robin" (her name was robin) and yes, she was very dirty.

her kids were filthy and rarely wore clothes.

dubstepped

@Faithful Witness : Don't worry, we know that the crazies were in the organization for sure. I knew tons of them. I probably was one in my own way. Heck, I dealt with a lot of depression and even suicidal thoughts at the hands of the Borg. I still need to write my story up and post it here now that I'm officially out with nothing to hide. Anyway yes, it is like the old saying, birds of a feather flock together. We drew a lot of crazies to us because we were crazy too.

@Dunedain : Thanks for sharing your experiences too. And good for your parents for still talking to you. My wife and I just lost our families, in part because I stood up after years of shunning my DF'ed brother and decided that I could no longer do so. I too was a conservative kid that got stuck studying with wild kids at times. It wasn't much fun because they couldn't have cared less. I was essentially a babysitter so the parents could study together, kind of like it sounds like you ended up being at times. Great stories.